[Last time on Crackverse Arcana/SMT Mixup...] Killing yourself... that's a very selfish thing. Unless everyone hates you and wishes you were dead, but you probably wouldn't want to do that if they did. * Tiffany smirks slightly. "It'd just mean they win, right? Isn't it more selfish to be that stubborn?" What, in that case? No. If they wanted you dead, you wouldn't be the sort of person who would roll over and die just to do everyone a favor. [Unpause! Systems are go!] 06* Tiffany grins. "Probably right." She sighs slightly. "You'd probably wish that they'd all just go away instead. Or that they'd just all die too. But that wouldn't solve everything." 01 Not really. No. 06* Tiffany glances at Katie and then looks over at one of the trees, deciding to lean against it for a moment, back away from Katie. "Sounds like you've had to deal with some of that." 06* Katie sighs a little. "Some of what? Death? Wanting to die?" She walks over to one of the trees and sits on the soft grass and petals below. 06* Katie frowns at her skirt and it shifts into a pair of whitewashed jeans, and her jacket and blouse into a t-shirt. That's better. All of it. 06* Tiffany looks Katie over with approval. "You're getting the hang of this." 01 It's lucid dreaming. 06* Katie runs her hands over her pant thighs and looks up towards Tiffany. "Yeah. I did. Do you?" 06* Tiffany thinks about that for a moment. "Depends." 06* Katie tilts her head. And most people aren't lucid, even after I tell them though. You're special. 06* Katie smiles slightly. "I'll take that as a compliment." 06* Tiffany then closes her eyes and tries to think of the word. "I think...trapped might be a better word." She frowns. "For most of it, at least." 01 Trapped? How? 06* Tiffany taps the ground by the tree. "Here." Pretty much *like* dead, isn't it? 06* Katie nods. "Stuck dreaming, then..." She shakes her head. "Sounds awful." 06* Tiffany nods back, then smiles slightly. "I expected you to take that worse." 01 Why? There's a lot of strange stuff out there. 06* Katie frowns. "I'm not stuck, am I?" 06* Tiffany shakes her head slightly. "No. Actually I worry about that with myself really. That I'm going to get stuck one of these days." 06* Katie nods. 01 Well, at least you can walk into other people's dreams, right? You won't be too lonely if it happens. 06* Tiffany frowns at that. 06* Katie leans back against the trunk and sighs a little, looking up and past Tiffany. 06* Tiffany turns to look at her, then turns her eyes to look at the knife in her hand, realizing she still has it. She sighs. "It's more dangerous in here than you think..." 06* Katie 's eyes flick to the knife briefly, but she doesn't move. "I know," she says softly. "Dreams are dangerous. They make you forget who and what you are." 06* Tiffany flips over the knife some more, looking at it. "I want to hear more about Arcana." 01 Why. 06* Tiffany shrugs. "I've been talking about my end of things long enough. Seems only fair." You said something about magic? 06* Katie laces her bloodstained fingers together, looking at them now. "Something like that. All Arcana have... powers. Like in a comic book or a manga." 01 Each of us unique. 06* Tiffany nods, listening. Not fully looking at Katie. She's still playing with the knife, but not threateningly, just turning it over to pass the time. 01 Most of us got powers that can help in a fight, some significantly. That's what we were ultimately created for, after all. 06* Katie laughs, a little bitterly. "I wasn't one of them, really." What were *you* created for then? 06* Katie shrugs. "A package deal. Seventy-eight upright, seventy-eight reversed, cycling through history until we stopped the creatures from coming over from the other side." 01 Not that most of us knew that, until the very end. 06* Tiffany sighs, looking down at the knife. "I can understand the misinformation thing. That sucks." 01 No. Do you know what sucks? 06* Katie looks at Tiffany. "What sucks is people. *People* suck. And children are the worst of all." 06* Tiffany tilts her head and looks at her. She then chuckles at that and slumps against the tree. 01 The real monsters weren't the- the *things* that we ended up stopping. They were us. They were... 06* Katie laughs softly, shaking her head. "I used to have so much faith in other people, and it's just- they're cruel, you know? Some people are so cruel." 06* Tiffany wipes her eyes a bit, from chuckling maybe? "Yeah." She smiles at her. "Why do you think I like walking so much?" 06* Tiffany lets out a long sigh. "It keeps me from thinking about it. We sound a lot alike." 06* Tiffany looks up at the sky for a bit. "Something tells me you had it worse though." 06* Katie points at the scar on her neck. "Maybe it's this?" she asks in an almost joking tone. 06* Tiffany tilts her head and smiles at Katie. She rolls up her sleeve and shows her own scarred arm. She wiggles her fingers as she turns it to show Katie. 06* Katie looks at Tiffany's arm, and her eyes widen a little. "Who did that to you?" As soon as the words are out of her mouth, it dawns on her, the way that Tiffany's cut... "You did that to yourself?" 06* Tiffany smiles at Katie more. "It helps. Sometimes." She puts her sleeve back down. 01 You shouldn't- hey. 06* Katie reaches over, grabbing Tiffany's hand and gently pushing up the sleeve. 06* Tiffany blinks and stiffens, pulling her arm back. "Hey..." 06* Tiffany shakes a bit, keeping her arm out of Katie's reach and not looking at her. 06* Katie frowns. "You're almost as bad as Kyon. Fine." 01 But you know that you shouldn't. 06* Tiffany frowns too, and says meekly. "Why?" 01 Why? It hurts you, that's why. I mean, it's nice- it's nice having control, and it's nice knowing you can feel, but there's got to be a better way to do those things. Who are you...you don't even know me and you're telling me what to do. It helps me feel things that I want to be numb to...and helps me be numb when I don't want to feel. So why? 06* Tiffany looks intently at Katie. She looks more determined than angry. 06* Katie blinks at Tiffany and says, as though it's obvious, "Because it hurts you. I know what it's like, to do things to hurt myself. To want to be numb. Fuck, I want to be numb *now*." Her gaze turns downward and her fingers move, plucking at the grass and petals. "For a long time, I wished someone killed me. I still do sometimes. I should have died." 01 But then... then I couldn't have helped people. I couldn't help Kyon now. And I... 06* Tiffany frowns and slumps by the tree. "Life hurts. It helps it so it doesn't hurt so much...you don't understand..." She drops the knife and then winces at the sound, kicking it away. 06* Katie snaps her attention up at Tiffany. "Do not," she says, her voice going cold, "tell me that I don't understand what pain is." 06* Tiffany looks at her evenly. "If you did, you wouldn't tell me to stop. I'm still here. I get kicked down and I'm still fucking here." She stares at her. "You do things your way, I'll do things mine." 06* Katie stares at Tiffany for a long moment, then she says, "I understand." 06* Tiffany sighs and tugs on her sleeves, turning away from Katie. "Maybe I'm not as strong as you are. But I'm the only one they've got. So I've got to keep going, you know?" 06* Katie snorts. "Yeah. I know. I've seen all sorts of coping mechanisms." 06* Tiffany winces at that. But she doesn't deny it. 01 Do what you have to do to keep going, but I'm telling you: you're being weak. And you should find a way around it, someday. 06* Tiffany glares at her. Then scoffs. "You *still* don't know anything about me..." 01 We're not in your dream, in case you haven't noticed. You got to see me face one of my demons, but I haven't seen any of yours. 06* Katie smiles, and there's something cruel about her, for the first time. "Do you want to see more? More demons? Maybe you can tell me if some of mine are the same as yours." 06* Tiffany smiles a bit. "It's true." She sighs. "You probably won't. Your dream's not so peaceful. Those are the nicer ones." At least you know who the demons are there. 06* Katie laughs, because frankly, that's kind of hilarious. 06* Katie stands suddenly, all anger and cruelty apparently gone. "Let's climb," she says. 06* Tiffany smiles slightly at the laughing, but it's a bit strained. "It's true." She sighs. "The worst demons are the ones you think are pleasant dreams." She tugs at the sleeves a bit. She then smiles again at Katie and brushes her hair out of her eyes. "Sure." 06* Katie smiles a bit at Tiffany, offering a hand down to her. "A beautiful lie, huh?" Uh huh. 01 When reality hits after one of those, you can't do anything but break. 06* Tiffany takes the hand and pulls herself up. "Maybe that's why I think it's better to remind myself of reality." She grins. "I've been getting better if it makes you feel better." 01 What if it doesn't? 06* Katie reaches up and jumps, grabbing the first branch and hauling herself up into the cherry blossom tree. 06* Tiffany grins wider. "Then that's not *my* problem, is it?" 06* Katie glances down at Tiffany. "Then it doesn't matter." 06* Tiffany looks up at Katie climbing the tree and then hauls herself up easier than her frame wound look like. "Maybe it doesn't. Maybe this whole conversation doesn't matter. But it's probably better than your *other* dream, isn't it?" 06* Katie chuckles as she climbs. "I haven't had a solid night's sleep since..." She pauses, thinking. 01 Years. I'll take one good dream. 06* Tiffany frowns. "Be careful what you wish for." 06* Tiffany pokes the tree. "*This* is safe. Because I'm here." 01 Exactly. This is pretty nice. That's what traps you. You can probably see why. 06* Katie smiles at Tiffany. "Well, if you're lying and trying to keep me here, I tend to get violent." 06* Tiffany frowns. "That wouldn't be good for me. And I'm not sure I want to test that." She then smiles faintly at Katie. "I thought you said you'd know if I was lying or not." 06* Katie grins suddenly, mischievously, and climbs higher up the tree. 06* Tiffany climbs higher as well, laughing. "I can't believe Javy thought I cheated at this." 01 Who's Javy? A friend. You mentioned Kyon before. I thought it was only fair. 06* Katie gets to the highest branch that will support her and makes a perch out of it for herself. "Is he cute?" 06* Tiffany giggles and holds onto the branch she's on. "Adorable." 01 Tell! 06* Tiffany laughs. "Why?" 06* Tiffany climbs higher again, just on the perch below her. Since *both* of them on the high branch probably wouldn't be a good idea. She sits. 01 Because I want to hear how adorable he is, obviously. 06* Tiffany gives a faint lazy half-smile up at Katie. "Why? Thinking of stealing him away from me? I mean if I concentrate, I could probably *show* you." 06* Tiffany pulls up her leg to her chest. "He's a swimmer. I think I make him nervous. Of course *everything* seems to make him nervous. Which makes it all the cuter when he tries to stand up for me..." 01 Aw. 01 And don't be silly. Not many boys can handle me anymore. Oh? But there's more than one then. 06* Katie shrugs. "Never discount the possibility." She looks down at Tiffany, "Soooo he's a swimmer?" 01 Is he a walker, too? Yeah. He's...different, when he walks. More confident. I guess in some ways we all are... What about *your* guy? 01 Mine? Yeah 06* Katie shakes her head, then says, amused, "Kyon is a six foot tall, very Japanese boy who plays baseball, runs a brewery, manipulates people instead of making friends, and has a phobia of human contact. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him, and I like telling him that he acts like a smirking robot." 06* Tiffany tilts her head. "Pretty sure, but not completely sure, huh?" 01 Who is completely sure anymore? I mean, I'm sure I *love* him. 06* Tiffany swings her legs, looking down at her stockings. "That's pretty true. I don't think I'm sure of anything anymore. If I were, I wouldn't be here." 01 Here, talking to me? 06* Tiffany smiles. "Well yeah. In here in general. Most people'd think it was pretty insane to be in someone else's dream." 01 Honestly, I'm not *entirely* sure I'm not dreaming you up somehow. 01 But if you are real, out there, in Connecticut somewhere, I'm glad I'm helping. If I'm helping. 06* Tiffany smiles more. "Maybe you are. You've got some pretty strange good dreams then." 01 Well. 06* Katie wrinkles her nose. "I am pretty out of practice," she admits. 01 I'll work on my technique. Maybe you've got a thing for piercings and weird black clothes. 06* Tiffany chews on her lip. "It's not even all that much. I don't know why people complain about it." 06* Katie blinks, and her eyes go distant for a moment. "Maybe-" She shakes herself out of it and presses her palm against her head. "Ugh." 06* Tiffany looks up at her, concerned. "What?" 01 No, just... the past, messing with the present. I knew a girl, a goth, kind of reminds me of you. The way she dressed, I mean. She was mind controlled, then my friends soaked her and electrocuted her... couldn't talk after that. 06* Katie says, distantly, "I think she was my girlfriend once." Pause. "It's just a mess, that's all." 06* Tiffany frowns. "I'm not really a goth you know..." She sighs. "But that sucks." 06* Katie shrugs. It does though. 06* Tiffany frowns. "Sounds like you've had a lot of friends get hurt." 06* Katie says, softly, "Yeah." 01 It wasn't... a fight to save people. Not really. 06* Katie rubs at her arm. "It was a struggle for survival," she admits, softly. "And by the end, I was willing to do anything to make it happen. I was weak that way." 06* Tiffany shakes her head. "Trying to live isn't weak." 01 No. But sacrificing your principles - sacrificing who you are - that is. 06* Tiffany rubs her arm, looking down. "Saving people is hard too. Especially when they don't even know they need saving and you know there's no one in reserve who can do it for you if you fail..." 06* Tiffany looks up. "Do you like who you are now?" 06* Katie looks down at Tiffany strangely. "That's a loaded question." 06* Tiffany smiles. "You've been talking to me *this* long. Is any question I ask not loaded?" 06* Katie chooses not to answer that one, instead asking, "Do you like who you are?" 06* Tiffany snorts. "Doesn't really matter in my case. Sometimes, maybe." 01 Don't be stupid. It always matters. 06* Tiffany looks up at Katie. "I am who I am. Liking it or not can't really change it all that much." 06* Katie rolls her eyes. "Then why ask?" 06* Tiffany shrugs. "Because you might be different than I am." 06* Tiffany sighs and considers the question for a moment. "I'm a leader now because it's necessary. I don't like it, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop being it. Because no one else is going to be." 01 What does that have to do with liking who you are? 06* Tiffany blinks. "Because that's who I am by necessity. So I guess I'm a person who is who they need to be. By necessity." She frowns as she considers that a moment. It doesn't sound exactly right. 06* Katie shakes her head. "That doesn't sound right," she says, vocalizing what Tiffany was just thinking. 01 Leader or not, that's your situation. Not who you are. 01 What you're describing isn't changing *you*. It's changing your responsibilities and maybe your actions because of it, sure, but not you. 06* Tiffany snorts. "Why are you starting to sound like how my therapist wishes she sounded?" 01 I don't know; I was just clarifying the question. Besides, I've changed myself before. A few times. That's not it. Was it you who changed or the situation who forced you to change though? 01 Yes. Not an answer. Rather, it's the answer I'm giving when I'm trying to be annoying. 06* Katie rolls her eyes again. "But it's the truth." So it's not necessarily all that different. 06* Tiffany shakes her head. "Maybe she's who I really am. Deep down." 06* Katie furrows her brow. "She?" 06* Tiffany gestures vaguely. "Who I usually am. In here, I mean. Maybe it's who I really am." 06* Katie shrugs. "Maybe." 06* Tiffany shakes her head. "It's been nice meeting you, but I really think I need to go. Hopefully I can." 06* Katie waves Tiffany away. "Nice meeting you, too. Good luck." [Tiffany fades from her dream, leaving Katie alone in her nice dream now!] [Session End!] [For now!]