01 [It's afternoon, a week and a half after the blue team of Blitzkrieg, section 2, saved the world. (Again.)] 01 [Not that they're part of Blitzkrieg again, or even really a team, but the lot of them have been holed up in an expansive mansion over the past week and change while new living quarters and identities are no doubt being arranged. Additionally, it's getting closer and closer to the moment where the treatments the wards were subjected to finally wear off...] 01 [Meaning, among other things, that they will no longer feel chemically compelled to obey their guardians.] 01 [Roseli asked Keiko and Jamie to meet her in a rather large and heavy duty faraday cage in one of the mansion's many rooms - this particular room was used as a bedroom, and some of the Victorian furniture (such as a bed and dresser) was moved into the cage which now makes up the room's walls.] 01 [The only electronic device in the room/cage, however, is a clock, and it keeps time with standard precision.] 01 [Epilogue mini, start.] 02* Rowyn (Rowyn@node36.240.100.208.1dial.com) Quit (Ping timeout ) (Hopefully Keiko didn't have to go collect Jamie!) 06* Jamie knocks softly on the door. 06* Roseli answers it. "Jamie," she says in greeting before opening the door the rest of the way and stepping aside. "Come in." 06* Roseli looks like she always did, if tired, though she's been sporting bandages on her left wrist instead of the bracelet since reaching London. And, well, she also does have Durandal on her, as she's been hesitant to let it out of her sight. So chances she ALSO has her gun are fairly high. 06* Jamie steps into the unnaturaly quiet (to her anyway) room. She looks around a bit, but the only things she's focusing on are Rose and the clock. She's wearing a new dress because convincing Togo that everybody couldn't wear their same clothes or trench coats their entire stay only took most of the first afternoon. 06* Keiko floats up a few moments after Jamie, hovering in the doorway after Jamie enters. She's wearing a blue dress with a complex raised black pattern on it, along with blue eyeshadow, and her cloak is matching, black on the inside, and blue on the outside. Being stuck in a mansion all day must give you plenty of time to play with fashion. 06* Roseli waves Keiko in. "Nice outfits, girls. Should consider dresses myself." 06* Jamie nods slightly. 06* Keiko brushes her hair back behind her head. "Heinrick doesn't bug me about it being impractical much anymore." 01 He knows he has little right. 06* Roseli closes the door after Keiko enters and quiety locks it. 01 (quietly rather!) 06* Keiko chuckles a litle lowly and floats around to the side. "It's easy to play with clothing when you can change it two-hundred eighty eight times a day and... only have so much to think about." 06* Roseli slips the key into her pocket and then regards the two with folded arms and a raised eyebrow. "Would think both of you have plenty to think about." 06* Jamie blinks in confusion. "...No?" 06* Keiko shrugs slightly and glances to Jamie, then back to Rose. "It's not that different from being at Blitzkreig. Lighter security. Less creepy men." Too much time to think there too. 01 As you like. 06* Roseli turns her attention to her ward, or the girl who used to be her ward. "Jamie. You are aware that the chemical treatments you underwent in Blitzkrieg will wear off soon." 06* Jamie nods since she's been told this before. 06* Roseli shakes out a cigarette. "And you know what this means," she says while she lights it. 06* Jamie is a lot less confident as she nods this time. 06* Keiko glances at her nails a moment, but then looks back to Jamie and licks her lips again. 01 Then what will likely happen should be obvious... and I think it's best you had a head start on it, so I can help you as best I can. 06* Roseli takes a drag of her cigarette, then says, "Please sit down." 01 (And then I kill you all. The end!) (boo!) 06* Jamie sits on the edge of chair that's probably hundreds of years older than she is and fidgets with the sleaves of her dress. 06* Keiko glances to Rose, then back to Jamie. "And I'm... here to help keep things in line. Just remember, I'm... there." 06* Roseli paces a little further into the cage and glances at Keiko as she talks, letting out a stream of smoke. 06* Jamie glances at Keiko and then focuses back on Rose. 06* Roseli rubs at her eyes and murmurs something in Portuguese before looking back to Jamie. "Jamie, I rescind my previous order. You are... allowed to believe in Ten." 06* Jamie blinks at Rose and then blinks twice more as she processes that. "Oh... Okay?" 06* Roseli nods, then puts her cigarette back in her mouth, and waits. 06* Keiko 's entire body gets tense and she murmurs, "It amazes me you and her can stay apart." 06* Jamie looks at Keiko and is slightly puzzled as she points out. "But... she's a god. And and I'm not." 06* Roseli shakes her head. 06* Keiko shakes her head and replies, "Jamie, you're the same person. She's... part of your mind. Just like the other one was part of Pavla's." A small chuckle, then a smirk. "If I were next to something so angry so often, I'd be a real bitch." 06* Jamie clutches her hands. "I'm not the one who can get angry. I have to be..." She trails off as she glances at Rose. "Had to be the one to... the one to take take everything in silence." 06* Roseli raises an eyebrow as Jamie glances to her, and she removes her cigarette from her mouth. "Why?" 06* Keiko looks at Jamie a little oddly. 06* Jamie 's eyes unfocus. "Because... because I belonged to the Hi... to Doc.... to Shumacher. And Ten didn't. Ten owns Ten." 06* Keiko gets fully tense, hands balling before she hisses, head tilting slightly away, "Dammit. Damn fucking scientists." 01 Jamie, Ten was an aspect you disassociated from yourself to be free of rules - of people like Schumaucher or myself. But she is a part of you, not a goddess, and certainly not a seperate entity. 06* Jamie grimaces as she tries to deal with her guardian saying things that contradict what she she knows as facts. 06* Keiko grimaces too, and says, "She's coming. Dammit, Jamie, don't you think we... we all want a shield? You made one." 06* Jamie pleads with Rose. "I ... she has to be seperate. She has to be something purer. She can't not be." 06* Roseli has another drag of her cigarette. "I can't make her seperate, Jamie. I'm not a god." But, but she is. And I have to do what she says. And you say. And and you ca ... shou... 06* Jamie rubs her head as she utterly fails to resolve how to tell her guardian what to do. 06* Keiko 's fists are balled as she replies, "She's just... you, Jamie. Don't you think you deserve to be angry? Just a little?" 03* JesseLman (lman8381@c-98-218-237-44.hsd1.dc.comcast.net) has joined #mc4 06* Jamie relaxes as she's allowed a distraction from her current problem and speaks at Keiko, reciting as if to a small child. "If I get angry; I'll get hurt. If I act out; I'll get hurt. I don't want that." 06* Keiko crosses her arms. "Yeah? How much did that really protect you?" I'm... I'm still alive arn't I? 06* Jamie blinks and covers her mouth with her hands. 01 Jamie, why are you covering your mouth? 06* Jamie mumbles into her hands."I"m sorry. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry." 06* Keiko glances to Rose, takes a deep breath, then back to Jamie as she gestures at her with her balled fist. "Agh, don't be sorry. You think that saved you? You're alive 'cause you were useful. Useful to Blitzkreig, useful to that bastard doctor." 06* Roseli rolls her eyes. "And you don't have to be sorry. There is nothing that you should or should not have said." 01 You're your own person, Jamie. At least try to understand that. 06* Jamie starts to say something to Keiko but is interupted by Rose redefining reality again. This time she manages to shake her head. "I... no. I'm not." 03* Wingdance (WD@pool-173-77-115-137.nycmny.east.verizon.net) has joined #MC4 01 (Evening WD. :D) (Heya!) (Hey WD! Welcome to the mini that should have taken place a year ago, but couldn't becasus it wasn't worth the risk!) 06* Roseli lets out an exasperated sigh, murmurs something in Portuguese, and goes back to smoking. 01 Yes, you are. Or you *will be*, once the treatment wears off. 06* Keiko exhales upwards. "As much as any of us can be. Were you gonna say something, Jamie?" 06* Jamie shakes her head again. "I ... belonged to the high priest without drugs. I belong to Ten without drugs. I belong to you without drugs." 06* Keiko rolls her eyes. "You wish." 06* Jamie shakes her head. "That's that's the way things are. The way they have to be." 06* Keiko shivers and wraps her arms around herself again. "So what's that mean if Ten's you, huh?" You'll just have to belong to yourself. 06* Jamie speaks slowly as she tries to work it out. "That ... doesn't work." 06* Keiko closes her eyes. "Yeah, it's pretty bad. Because nothing ever goes right." 06* Roseli nods in agreement. "But we all need to get used to belonging to ourselves. You're no exception, Jamie." 06* Jamie shakes her head. "I can't belong to myself anymore than a hammer or car or a sentry bot can." 01 I fail to see how that's the case, because you're not a hammer, car, or sentry bot. 06* Keiko adds, "Yeah. Pretty squishy for any of those." I... I'm not one of... 06* Jamie tilts her head to one side and then nods. "A tool, yes." 06* Roseli shakes her head. "Tools don't want things, or have emotions." 06* Keiko takes a breath through her nose, closing her eyes, then replies, "And you definitely have both, because that's a lot of anger." 06* Jamie looks down. "I'm not as good as I was." 06* Roseli frowns. "As good?" 06* Keiko says, "As pure. As quiet. As unobtrusive. Because that's what you made Jamie to be." 06* Jamie starts to nod and then catches herself. 06* Keiko smirks a bit, then says, "How much did that save you, Jamie? You said you were alive, but tools don't live. What is it?" 06* Jamie winces, and then snaps. "I'm not a good tool alright!?" Then she clutches at her head and tries to curl up in the chair. 06* Keiko winces too, then says, "Oh, come on, Ten, really? Acting like you care? I thought Jamie was your tool." 06* Roseli lets out a long sigh, puts her cigarette out in a nearby ashtray, and then walks over to Jamie. "Hey," she says softly, putting a hand on her head and smoothing her hair. 06* Jamie stiffens. 01 You're not a tool at all. That's why you're not good at it. It's okay. Ten... Ten wants a speaker. So she can talk to you. 06* Jamie looks up, at Rose's face and arms. 06* Keiko exhales upwards. "Maybe Ten should use her body. 'Cause you're the same person." 06* Jamie shivers. 01 Why isn't that okay, Jamie? ~ You think I would TOUCH that disgusting sack of flesh more than I absolutly had to? ~ (Not that Rose can hear it.) 06* Keiko replies, out loud, "Disgusting sack of flesh." She rubs her forehead. "It makes so much sense. It's amazing. But it just makes her more you." 06* Keiko rubs her arms and turns her back on Jamie, floating towards the wall and taking deep breaths. 06* Roseli frowns. "I was afraid of this." 06* Jamie turns to Rose. 06* Keiko leans her head against the wall and says, "Do you want to give her a body? I'm sure I can get a modeling dummy, but I think it'd just be her yelling at you to keep your hands off her. Can't blame her there." 06* Roseli turns to Keiko and snaps, "I have no idea what, or who, you're talking about." ~ Would you do that for me? I might let you live. ~ 03* Wingdance is now known as WDaway It's kinda hard to talk about. 06* Keiko turns around to look back towards the two of them, looking to Rose. "Ten is begging for a body. It's very ungoddesslike." 06* Jamie looks at Keiko. ~ Oh yes, let's kill you, and then resurect you in a tiny box that you can't think your way out of, insult you, and then see how powerful you're feeling. Shall we? Oh wait, we can't. You're not immortal. ~ 01 Given Ten and Jamie are the same person, her body should be obvious. (Gah in front of that.) 01 (It doesn't matter! They're the same person!) 01 (... Plus, what she thinks should make which personality is running clear.) 06* Jamie curls up tighter. ~ Ueeegh.~ 06* Keiko shrugs a little, then rubs her fingers along her wrist. 06* Roseli glances at Keiko, and she continues to frown, trying to think... out? 03* WDaway is now known as Wingdance ~ I know you're listening Keiko, so why don't you tell the replacement over there that I'll talk to her through Jamie's mouth when she genemods herself into an ape. ~ 06* Keiko closes her eyes for a few monents, then thinks at Rose, ~I'm not sure what to do. I... I don't know I can talk about why Ten doesn't want to be in her body.~ ~Not angry.~ 01 ~Not angry? What? Jamie's in bad shape; I was worried about doing this.~ 01 ~I mostly dealt with Ten before by not addressing her directly, but that method takes time. She needs years.~ 06* Keiko reopens her eyes. ~You... know why Ten doesn't want to be in Jamie's body.~ 06* Keiko also says out loud, "I'll think about it when you think about why I can feel you in Jamie's mind when I can't feel nonhumans." 01 ~Clearly, she doesn't want to *be* Jamie. She's disgusted with herself. Not that it changes when Ten is "gone".~ ~I mean... why. The why. The only why.~ 06* Keiko wraps her arms around herself again. ~The only why there ever is.~ * Ten gives a mental snort. ~ Because you can hear Jamie hearing me. Try a hard one. I'm not getting out of this cage anytime soon. ~ (er *Jamie*'s not getting out of this cage) (Ten admitting that she can be caged, not happening just yet.) 01 ~The only why there ever is? Why do you always use riddles, Keiko?~ 06* Keiko kicks off the wall and replies, angrily, "So I can feel your anger too? I can feel your anger through her, and your thoughts, and everything. Rose even killed you through her. Are we gonna talk about psychology? Because all I'm seeing is one mind and one body." 06* Keiko replies to Rose with, ~Jamie's mind is hard. What... what Schmacher did. In the darkness. In her dreams.~ ~ HOW DARE YOU? How dare you even imply that let alone state it? If I had a hand, if I had a single gear moter I could use against you.~ 06* Keiko wraps her arms around herself again. "We've been stating it a lot." Jamie was able to use her powers when you were gone, too. 06* Roseli processes that briefly, then kneels in front of her ward. "Jamie," she says, addressing her ward while Keiko addresses Ten. ~ She... ~ And her focus switches inwards. ~ YOU DID WHAT?~ 06* Jamie curls up enven tighter. "I'm sorry.I'msorryimsorryimsorry." 01 Jamie? 01 ~What did you do? What happened?!~ 06* Keiko exhales and thinks back to Rose, ~Ten's not happy she used her powers. At all. ~ ~ Yelling in anger and disbelief. ~ ~ At Jamie. ~ 06* Roseli gives a small mental not of acknowledgement. "Jamie!" (I type too slow. ;_;) (Two on one is not very fair!) 01 (Sokay, I shall wait.) (Yeah, let us know if you need a sec.) (This is kinda a big session for you. ^^) ~ You overstepped your bounds Jamie! You tresspassed in my terrirtory, used MY godly powers. And for what? What I ask? So some burnt out wreck of a woman would give you candy? Abandoned for chocolate. How so very pathatic. ~ * Jamie just keeps up her itinerant plea for forgiveness. 06* Keiko smirks slightly, thinking at Rose, ~ I do have to admit, Ten thinks up excellent ways to insult guardians. ~ ~ And you're not even listening anymore. JAMIE SHUT UP AND SIT UP. ~ Which she tries to do, at least managing the sitting up part. ~ Better. I'm not going to forgive you. Or her. But I will not have you sniveling away to nothing. I need you. I need you to belive. IN ME. 06* Keiko continues her semi-useful status updates. ~ She's pleading for Jamie's belief now, Roseli. ~ 06* Roseli says softly, "We deserve to be insulted, at times." She watches Jamie carefully. ~Not surprising.~ 01 Jamie, please listen to me. ~Would you shut up? I'm trying to work here, you pointless humans. ~ 06* Keiko snorts. "We're the ones who've kept her alive, Ten, not you. Her and us. Who's pointless?" 01 Jamie, I promised you that I would do everything I could to make sure you're not abused again. But I can't succeed if you abuse yourself. There is *nothing* I can do if you want to suffer. ~ Ha. Want to suffer. You don't want anything, do you? You just need to belive. ~ I... ~ You don't want anything. ~ ~ Want. Ten says Jamie doesn't want anything. ~ 06* Keiko pauses, then adds, ~ This is familiar. I... saw this before. ~ 06* Roseli listens to Jamie, and then when she stops, she puts her hand on the girl's (which is probably gripping the chair arm very, very tightly. "I can save you from all of the Schumauchers in the world, but so long as you build and believe in Ten as some other, superior thing that gets to kick you around." 01 You're going to be abused. And you don't... you don't want that, do you, Jamie? You don't want to be used. 06* Keiko thinks directly, to Ten, ~ Can't answer me, Ten? Aren't you superior? Can't you prove we're pointless even though we kept her alive and safe? ~ 06* Jamie looks at Rose. ~ Oh yes. Hail the allmight Roseli doer of great things. Who couldn't even get out of Blitzkriege without help. A savior for all mankind. ~ 06* Roseli looks back at Jamie and continues, "I know I didn't do the best of jobs. I know I gave you orders, and I'm sorry if they weren't orders you wanted to follow. But I was trying, and am trying, to help you. I promised I would. Don't you believe me?" I ... ~ She's just like the priest, only instead of using you as his pretend girlfriend, she's going to turn you into her pretend daughter. Isn't that nice of her. ~ 06* Jamie looks down. 02* JesseLman (lman8381@c-98-218-237-44.hsd1.dc.comcast.net) Quit (Quit: ) 06* Keiko grits her teeth, then thinks at Ten, ~ So what did you protect her from, Ten? If you're so great, what'd you save her from? What can a goddess do that she can't? ~ ~ Why shouldn't she just be whole again? ~ ~ I protect her from the need to think, to feel, to be, from all this.... ~ ~ BULLSHIT you're putting her through. Good Bye. ~ 06* Jamie blinks and then starts to swing her free hand at Rose. She fails to connect when her knees give and she slides off the chair instead. "Stop fighting me damnit, this is for your own good!" 06* Roseli reaches out and grabs Jamie by the arm, trying to steady her. 06* Keiko says, lowly, "Except in nightmares. Except every day. Except every time you insult her and bully her and control her. Ten isn't protecting you anymore, Jamie. Being split in half isn't... isn't protecting you." (You had Jamie by the arm when this started) 01 (Nonsense, by her hand!) 06* Jamie yells something inconprehensable and bites at Rose's hand. 06* Keiko keeps her arms folded, and thinks at Rose, ~ Let me know if you need help not breaking something. ~ 06* Roseli actually gets bitten. She didn't see that one. She draws back and looks at her hand in surprise, as some blood was actually drawn. 01 ~Good thing all she's doing is biting me.~ 06* Roseli turns her attention to Jamie, holding her hand out for the girl to see. "You really want to let her do that?" 06* Jamie smirks up at her for a moment and then scouls. "If you'd just listened to me from the begining none of this would have had to happen. All you had was listen. But that was just too hard wasn't it?" 06* Keiko grimaces, then says, "That sounds awful familiar." 06* Jamie struggles to sit up. "And now here I am in this bag of bones you want to care for so much that you can't even let the pathetic creature that's supposed to live in it stay where she thinks she's safe." 01 What wouldn't have had to happen? Jamie feeling some semblance self-worth and realizing she has opinions, desires, and emotions? 06* Keiko thinks at Jamie, ~I'm still here, Jamie. I can talk to Roseli for you if you want.~ 06* Jamie manages that much. "Oh yes, all things that she can be taunted with, that can be ground away, that she can be hurt with. Why don't I just hand you a few real knives? We've had enough of those." 01 Don't be stupid, girl. The only person using knives or biting hands is you- and it's at yourself more than me. 06* Jamie scouls. "Oh yes, and you've helped so much. Now if anybody wants to cut her, they don't have to worry about stopping when she's threatening to blead out, they can just cut her more and she'll heal right up. Thanks." 06* Roseli actually looks amused. "That's the best you can say?" 06* Jamie rolls her eyes. "I'm not exactly up to date on current events, on account of the mild case of dead you gave me. Which I intend to repay as soon as I can. It's too bad your pretty little bracelett's goine. I wanted to see what would happen if I pushed all the buttons at once." (-i) 01 Nothing interesting. Feh. 06* Jamie looks up at the ceiling. "What I wouldn't give for omniciance." 01 I know, it's disappointing. I don't plan on killing that aspect of Jamie's personality again. The only reason I did it in the first place was to keep Control from destroying all of you. Semiscience isn't all it sounds like either. 06* Keiko rubs her upper arm. "There's a downside or two." 06* Roseli looks to Keiko. "Get me some bandages?" 06* Keiko thinks at Rose. ~Jamie's mainly begging for forgiveness. I'm not sure if from you or her.~ She turns around to reach into her cloak in a way Ten can't see, and turns back around with pink flower bandaids in a japanese box. She looks down at them a moment, then smiles weakly at Rose. "You like flowers?" 06* Jamie tries to shift her legs. "I could certainly do without knowing about the trillions of touch receptors that do nothing but remind me of how much I loath them." 06* Jamie shudders and for a moment sarts begging for forgivness. "Argh." 06* Keiko floats over and hands them to Rose anyway. 01 ~Her. I can almost promise that. God, Ten is obnoxious.~ 06* Roseli takes the flowers. "Thanks. And well enough." She goes ahead and puts a bandaid over the bite wound. ~ I'm not so sure. ~ 01 ~Why not? I can't hear Jamie.~ ~ Because Jamie puts you on the same level as Ten. ~ Filthy, disgusting unclean... For the love of me, or the hate of me if you want. Bring me another vessal. 01 Leave her and find one yourself, if you're a goddess. 01 ~The only reason I would give her another doll is so I could stick it in the microwave again. I wish she wasn't driven to this kind of thing.~ 06* Jamie snorts... and then curls up in a ball, whimpering. 06* Roseli blinks and drops the bandages, approaching the girl again. "Jamie? Jamie, can you hear me?" 06* Jamie nods without raising her head. 01 Listen, listen... I don't hate you. Do you understand? I'm not mad at you. 06* Keiko presses her lips together before floating the bandages back up into the box, contained. 06* Roseli crouches, trying to look at Jamie's face (which is probably awfully hard to do). 06* Jamie certainly isn't making it easy. "Ten. Ten hates you." 01 I know. But as much as Ten hates me, and as much as I know Ten is you, I don't hate you. 06* Jamie nods again. "Okay." 06* Roseli reaches forward, trying to tilt Jamie's head up so she'll look at her. "Hey." 06* Jamie looks fearfully at Rose. 06* Roseli puts a hand on Jamie's and squeezes reassuringly. "I don't want to see you hurt like this. I *really* don't... one of the only things I care about right now is keeping you from being hurt. But I can't stop- I can't stop Ten from hurting you." 01 Only you can do that. All I can do is be here and try to help. ... Ten... Ten doesn't want to hurt me. I'm... I'm just the one who's supposed to get hurt. And you're going to tell me that I'm not. But I have been. As long as I can remember. 06* Roseli sighs. "Jamie, there's a big difference between supposed to be hurt and being hurt." 01 You... you've been hurting for as long as you can remember. And it's terrible. I know you don't think you're angry about that, but you should be, because it's not right. No child- no person should hurt that way. 06* Keiko tilts her head down and away slightly, closing her eyes. 01 You might have been hurt, and it might be easier to think that you should hurt, because that dulls the pain, a little. But that doesn't mean it's right; it doesn't mean that you're supposed to be hurt... and it doesn't mean you shouldn't try to stop it. 06* Jamie pushes herself up. "You say the opposite things of the priest and Ten. They're nice. But, what happens you you leave like he did. My next owner could be as bad or worse than him." 06* Roseli laughs a little. "Jamie, I don't want to be your owner. And you won't ever have another one if I... and I hope you... have anything to say about it." And I don't want to be hurt, but I never had any say in that either. 01 Well, you have say now. 01 What's hurting you? 01 ~Is this really Jamie, Keiko? She's unusually together. Ten's not very subtle, but I feel like I have to check.~ ~Ten's still disgusted. I... this is a familiar Jamie. It's the Jamie that's... behind the Jamie. I've seen her in dreams. ~ You and Ten are making my head hurt. A lot. 01 ~A buried fragment, afraid to come out? Maybe we have made progress.~ 06* Roseli nods. "What can I do to help? And what can she do?" ~I... I think this is the Jamie that we made that first night. ~ ~ When she found her way to act. ~ 06* Keiko floats a chair under herself and sits down, taking a slow breath. You... you can remember that even after everything wears off your words are still law... and if you say gravity pushes away I'm going to to have a headache untill I redifine down. 06* Roseli nods. "Anything else?" As for Ten. 06* Jamie winces. "She needs to remember that I'm yours to deal with physically and her powers are HER powers. You'd be amaized how far telling her she was right and you were wrong can get you." 06* Roseli raises an eyebrow. "Do you think she's right?" 06* Keiko looks over at Jamie, leaning forward on her elbows as she sits. "But that's... not you. That's just the same damn thing all over again." You have someone who really, really cares about you, Jamie. Even you if you... were all yourself. 06* Jamie laughs slightly. "And who are you to difine real? Hmm. I might just be your dream of Jamie, but it'd be nice to not have to wake up and actually deal with my body screaming at me or every machine in the world counting in my head." And you think it wouldn't be nice to be able to shut off my mind for a little? 06* Keiko puts her hand to her head. "To just... not know just how much people hate me, or don't love me, or want me to take off my clothes or... whatever people want?" I'm going to try and not be the bitter one, but it would be nice to not have that, no matter how they're saying it. 01 Jamie, do you think Ten is right? You tell her that she's right, but is she? 06* Keiko smiles wanly, but when Rose jumps in she doesn't speak up. She was right. She'll be right again. But as long as you're the one that has me, she's wrong about some ... are too, things. 01 Is she? Is she right that you are supposed to be hurt? That you have to be hurt, because she hurts you? I'm supposed to hurt because I'm actually alive. If I couldn't feel it I wouldn't be any more a living thing than Ten is. I'd be one of her machines, or a goddess. That's not a right or wrong. 06* Jamie sits up. "Talking coherently's harder outside of dreams." 06* Keiko shakes her head. "That's not... suppose is a moral word, Jamie. People who are supposed to hurt are people who have done bad things." 06* Roseli nods in agreement with Keiko. Who have earned it. People just hurt because shit hurts. When you find the dream where things work like that, let me know, so I can move there. 06* Keiko stands up and says, back to being a bit angry, "That is how it works. Life hurts. Everthing hurts. But it's not because you fucking earned it." I said my powers hurt... but I couldn't live without them. So it'll... just be like that. 01 You need to understand, Jamie, that you *will* hurt, because things happen and we get hurt. But that doesn't mean that you're supposed to hurt. 01 You've done nothing to deserve the pain you've gotten. Including from Ten. 06* Jamie blinks at Rose. "If it's going to happen, why say it isn't supposed to?" 06* Roseli says, demonstrating vague annoyance, "Because they're different things." 01 If you're hurt, then you do what you can do avoid being hurt - or you push through it, because the result is worth it. 01 If you're supposed to be hurt, then you must have done something to deserve it. If you haven't, then you're hurting... unjustly. Aaaah. There's the difference. 06* Jamie nods to herself. "Justice." 06* Keiko sighs and looks across at Jamie. "Not that much of what we've ever gotten is just. But Ten just screaming about how she shouldn't have to suffer anything, and Jamie should have to suffer everything is..." 01 Wrong - at least, I think it's wrong. Do you think it's wrong, Jamie? It might be the way it is, but is it right? 06* Jamie shrugs. "It is right for Ten. Knowing it was right kept me going when I was Hotaru. It's wrong for you. The right answer to give you is that it was wrong." 06* Roseli sighs. ~Relativism. Heaven help us.~ "Is it right for you *now*, Jamie. Not as an answer to me - for you." 01 Do you think it's fair that Ten hurts you? ~ I could still kill Ten, you know. ~ 01 ~Tempting, but she'll just come back, or Jamie might build something else.~ 01 ~This is something she has to deal with. Even if it does make me feel old and *incredibly* frustrated.~ 06* Keiko manages a weak smile to herself, before leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. ~ Why old? ~ I'm sorry? Fair? Ten? What's fair to a deity. What's fair to a slave? Wha... yes, I know. 06* Jamie slumps slightly. 01 ~Stepping in for a parent doesn't make you feel young, that's for sure. And I've stepped in for many parents. Many children have parents who abandoned, abused, or just ignored them.~ 01 ... Jamie? Sorry, I'm causing my own headaches. 01 Jamie, you're not a slave. You might have been one before, but you're not anymore - at least, as far as I can provide. 06* Keiko leans back forward and says quietly, "No more owning, Jamie. No more slaves." 01 And Ten isn't a goddess. If the idea gives you a headache, I'm sorry, but she *isn't*. She has no more power than you have. In fact, she has even less power than you do; you can just will her away, if you want. 01 Because I didn't make her go away. You did. On my order, true, but you couldn't have done it if it wasn't possible. ~ I feel like I'm stepping in for a parent sometimes. I didn't realize it made me old. ~ 06* Jamie points whearily at her head. "Ten exists here, because I belive in her. She couldn't exist there when I couldn't. And I like your dream. Keiko's dreams showed me a little bit about how to survive there, but I don't know how to not be a slave." 01 ~Maybe you were born old.~ 06* Keiko licks her lips, then glances to Rose, before murmuring, "It starts with 'no', I think." No's a good start. 01 It is. 01 Useful word, no. 06* Jamie nods. 01 If someone asks you to do something that you don't want to do, say no. If someone, even Ten, hurts you, try to get them to stop. 01 Remember that you have power, Jamie. You know that she can't exist in your head if you don't let her. 06* Jamie smiles slightly. "Would it be fair to whoever's head she moves into?" She's not infectious. 01 The only reason Pavla ended up like you, Jamie, is Schumaucher treated her the same exact way. 06* Jamie squeezes her eyes shut. "There's only room for one of her anyway." 01 Just remember that you can kick her out. And you don't deserve to be hurt, especially not the way she does it. 06* Jamie nods. "Okay." 06* Keiko nods to herself, then adds quietly, "And Jamie... yes is a good word too. Being able to say what you want is... a lot better than just hurting." 06* Roseli nods in agreement. 01 (Any more things here, or shall we end?) (I think Keiko plans on leaving in a tired seeming fashion, but nothing particularly relevant!) This may seem odd as a request. But... you might not want to let us out of this cage anytime soon. 01 Worried that Ten would cause some damage? 06* Jamie nods. "I'm going to go back my dream. This one's tiering and the Jamie that lives here can't face her." Good night. 01 Good night, Jamie. 01 ~This is going to take a lot of work.~ 06* Keiko looks at her fairly oddly, then floats to uprightness. ~ But you knew that already, Roseli. ~ 06* Jamie stands up and makes her way over to a chaise lounge, because awesome Victorian furniature is awesome. 01 ~I'm just thinking. Don't you think about things you already know?~ 01 (End now?) (Think so) 06* Keiko smiles slightly to herself as the chair floats back into place and she moves for the door. ~Yes. Because there's only so much to think about. ~ 01 [Mini End!]