[Wednesday 11/19/2003. Just after dusk at the Kyon/Katie apartment. Katie has helped Haruko test whether her water powers are useful for engineering pursuits. The tests were successful, though in the process, Haruko dropped the name of Hibiki-san. Following up, Katie has learned why Haruko has condition: Gets Around.] [Katie's calling Haruko on her shit has shaken the engineer and resulted in her showing her jealousy and leaving Katie with condition: Love field.] [Start!] 06* Katie slams her hands down on the table. She doesn't wince at the loud noise, possibly because she was ready for it, but hopefully the sudden noise is enough to get Haruko to look at her. "What does *that* have to do with anything?" she asks, glaring at Haruko. Her voice didn't rise much in volume but increased significantly in intensity. "Deserve? How the hell did you get from what I said to you not *deserving* anyone?" 06* Haruko opens her eyes in surprise. "But... they don't really know me." She stutters for a moment, "I don't want to hurt them, it's... I don't know." 01 And where did you get the idea that you have nobody talk to? Sure, Taki's trying to avoid us and you and Kaede almost never got along. But what about Kyon? Or me? Or even Satoshi? I know you keep in touch. We've all been through what you have. What makes you think you can't talk to us? 06* Haruko lowers her arms. "I do talk to Satoshi and Kyon. But Kyon's busy all the time and Satoshi is in America." She sits up and manages to look at Katie again. "And if there was an emergency, if it was important, I'd call you in a second." 01 And this isn't an emergency. 06* Haruko looks surprised at that. "Me being lonely? No, not even close." 06* Katie ughs. "You're so *stupid* sometimes." She gets up, grabs her cup, and goes to get more cold tea. 06* Haruko is still a bit unsettled and stands up. "I've kept you on the invite list for every race, our special events, for the Japanese premier of Die Another Day. I appreciate when you get together with the gang, but I've never heard about any of your shows in advance. I go to Akemi's when I can." 06* Haruko for whatever reason, seems especially hurt that Katie didn't reply to the Bond invite. Go figure. 06* Katie talks while she pours herself tea. Her voice is still hard. "First, you send out group invites, which are one: impersonal, two: invite people I might not want to see that day, and three: I don't even catch most of them until it's over. Second, I didn't invite *anyone* to the exhibition two weeks ago." She sets the pot back on the counter, harder than necessary, and turns to look to Haruko. 01 Third, what does that have to do with anything? 06* Haruko listens and is a bit confused. She takes a moment to ponder her words before continuing. I am thankful for today. And I appreciate that you make me welcome in your apartment regularly when I visit Kyon. But I get the impression when we get together that I start to wear your patience thin fairly quickly. Am I wrong? 06* Katie rolls her eyes. "That doesn't mean I never want you around. Or that I won't talk to you." 06* Haruko walks to the kitchen to get her own tea. "Thank you." She's actually quiet for a moment and tries to figure out what Katie's feeling. 06* Katie is doing everything with increased intensity if not volume, so obviously she's angry, but she still hasn't systematically attacked the other girl yet (which is something Haruko is all too familiar with). Yes, she called her stupid, but she hasn't *really* risen to any attacks Haruko made in return. Even the sarcasm is largely absent. Haruko realizes that anger isn't quite right. It's frustration. Katie's frustrated. 06* Katie picks up her own cup and has a sip, not responding to Haruko's thanks. 06* Haruko steels herself up. "If you only see me when I'm lonely, you'd just be like them and only getting part of me. I want us to have fun Katie. Look... how loud a club can you handle these days? The places Kenta picks aren't great for dancing, but the music can be pretty good and acoustic. I'd like you to come with me to one." 06* Katie looks at Haruko, a bit skeptically. She lowers her cup slowly. "How busy is it?" Depends on the time and the act. ::Haruko snaps her fingers:: We could do one of those park concerts. Be a safe distance away. In November. 06* Haruko shakes her head. 06* Katie blinks at Haruko, waiting for her to add whatever it is she's going to say. 06* Haruko tilts her head. "Uh. DDR? We've got a setup in the Automotive clubhouse. I could find a time when there aren't too many people around." 01 ... That's the game where you step on flashing lights to music? 06* Haruko nods. "Maki says I challenge other women to it in an attempt to show dominance in my second stage of drunkenness. But I think it's just that it's a lot of fun whatever your sobriety. We can turn the music down." 06* Haruko frets and paces. Is she doing it again? Is Maki right? 06* Katie snorts, looking amused at Haruko's statement and subsequent distress. "It's fine. I'll wear earplugs." 01 You do know that it probably makes you more drunk, right? Risk I'm willing to take. 06* Haruko stops pacing and looks pleased. "But you'll come, and try to have fun?" 01 Sure. I have some tests coming up, but I'll e-mail you and let you know when I'm free. I never played DDR, though, so I'm going to be really bad at it. 06* Haruko grins for a moment, "Yeah, you say that until you start betting money. The difficulty is highly variable and you can set handicaps. Being new isn't a problem." 06* Haruko 's tone indicates that she doesn't think Katie is a DDR- hustler. Probably. 06* Katie grins just to make Haruko unsure about that. 06* Haruko seems unnerved for a moment and then steadies herself. It's DDR. She's got this. She then sighs. "So, now that we'll be having fun later..." She closes her eyes, preparing herself. Is what I'm doing so wrong? I'm nobody's girlfriend. I have a couple guys I like going out with sometimes. We both typically have fun. But look we have our disagreements Katie but you always try to steer me straight. You see stuff I don't. Am I really hurting them? 06* Katie shrugs. "I don't know. I haven't met them." 01 But *you* think you're hurting them, or you wouldn't have been so defensive. 06* Katie sips her tea and looks past Haruko, at the woodblock art on the wall. "So probably." 06* Haruko sighs and paces. "I don't know, it's just..." 06* Haruko then sits down and sips tea. "I feel like such a bitch for thinking this." She frowns. "Sorry for the language." 06* Katie actually laughs a little. "I don't care. I use that language all the time." She walks over to sit down. "And there is almost *no way* whatever you're thinking is worse than what I've already thought." 06* Katie took her tea, too! She sets it on the table before she pulls out a chair and sits where she started. 06* Haruko shakes her head. "I guess not. But I'm not ready to commit." She sighs. "No, I feel like none of them are really what I want. Stupid Ken's the only one I really feel anything when I dance around. And they're both good guys, better than the people I hung out with freshman year." She gets a distant look, staring at the pots and pans. "And who am I to judge anyways. The last guy who actually knew what I've done..." 01 Was kind of an idiot. 06* Katie sips her tea like calling the Ace of Swords a moron is no big deal. 06* Haruko gives Katie a look. "I'll allow that he's got an unrequited love thing. But even putting aside the times he protected me." She smiles at Katie. "As he doesn't have that over you. But putting that aside he stuck to his principles. He was never cruel. He still inspires me sometimes." 06* Katie lets that wash over her. "Ryuji had a lot of good qualities, but emotionally, he was still an idiot." And I'm all that different? 01 That's not the point. Kyon's also an idiot emotionally, but most of the time I'm pretty sure he at least knows what he has in me. Ryuji was *blind* concerning you, or maybe you just weren't what he wanted. Maybe he just wanted Eriko. 01 If he wanted someone who was as good as he was - someone with principles - he shouldn't have kept pining after Eriko. He should have gone after *you*. Even when things screwed up, if he had his head screwed on straight he'd know what was going on. He didn't. It doesn't have anything to do with what you've done. 06* Katie sips her tea, then says, "What happened just made it easy for him to break up with you. He could put it on his principles and not his emotions. But Eriko's hurt people for far less reason, and Saki has killed." 06* Haruko listens and starts crying about halfway through. "I... I don't know what to say." She bites her lip. "And I don't know what I want either or how to figure it out. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to lead people on." 06* Katie shrugs. "Then don't." 06* Haruko puts her head down. "Or maybe I do want to. I like having them chase after me. It's not love, but it’s something. And I even flirted with Ken too. I don't think I like what I want." 06* Katie tilts her head. 01 You've always liked people chasing you. 01 And flirting with Ken *is* fun. Did he get all flustered? Is he calling you by your last name? 06* Haruko looks up and nods, face a bit flushed. 06* Katie actually giggles, covering her mouth. "Oh man, he's got it *bad* for you," she says, her eyes twinkling. 06* Haruko nods and smiles, still crying though. "So... Andrews? What do I have to do to actually count as being honest with them? As you never seem too impressed with the rules I come up with for myself." 01 You need tissues. 06* Katie gets up and crosses to the living room, picking up a box of said tissues and returning with it in hand. She sets them in front of Haruko. 06* Haruko smirks and with a wave of her hand her tears float away. "You forget who you're..." She then chokes up a little and takes a tissue to blow her nose. "Thank you." 06* Katie smiles. "We can't use magic to solve everything." She sits back down. 01 I don't think you should feel *guilty*. You obviously tried, at least a little bit. And you said you never actually lied. But I think you're going to have to decide what's important. 01 If you're not going to be exclusive, you need to be really clear you're not exclusive, and that means some guys aren't going to go after you. Or they might think you're lying and want to move faster than you do, and you're going to have to put a stop to it. Hard. 06* Haruko 's smile turns cold and she nods. "Yeah. That latter lesson was covered freshman year. But I'd learned from the best." 06* Katie looks curious. "What happened?" 06* Haruko shrugs. "Nothing that bad. Some people assume that if you are willing to do something in one situation, they've unlocked you for the future or something. I disabused him of the notion. I think it stuck." She smiles. "Mom always emphasized that lesson too. Even without the Arcana stuff, I was ready. That said, lot less scary than it might have been otherwise." 06* Katie laughs. "Yeah." 01 Anyway, it's pretty obvious you're not stopping them hard enough. And sometimes people will just be hurt... because. 06* Haruko nods. "Yeah. I'll add that to the list. Date me and the odds are a little above average that you'll get hurt." She then dabs herself with a tissue and scoots her chair over to give Katie another hug. 06* Katie was ready for that one, and she hugs back. Once that's done, she says, "It's not *you*, you know." 06* Haruko nods. "I hit bottom in that room with Shika, right before Ryuji dumped me. But you were too important to me to risk. I don't regret that choice. I just wish I'd been wise enough to really see you when we first met. Things might have been different." She looks to Katie, choosing her words. 06* Katie blinks at Haruko, clearly surprised. I hope you're listening to your own advice. It wasn't you either. You're honest and you've got something special about you. ::Haruko chokes up for a second and finds her words:: People respond by dumping their issues on you but that's on them. On us. That doesn't mean I agree with all your choices. But I'm lucky to have you as a friend. 06* Katie 's mouth drops open a little, then she closes it, doing that fish imitation Kaede so often called her on. She tries again: "I..." No good. Again: "I'm not. Honest, I mean. I'm not as honest as I used to be. And... I manipulate people more. I don't care as much if I hurt them now. But. Thank you?" 06* Haruko keeps holding on. "We've been through a war. That messes people up. It messed us up. But we can take care of one another afterwards. That's what camaraderie means." 06* Katie is hugged, and she hears that. After a long moment of processing what Haruko just said, she lets out a long sigh, hugging back tightly. "Yeah." 01 [End!]