01<@Ardweden> [Saturday, January 3, 2004.] 01<@Ardweden> [Wataru texted Satoshi asking him to meet up, and Satoshi agreed to do so the day before he's flying back to the United States. They're meeting in the early afternoon at a coffee shop at the end of a shopping arcade filled with neat little shops and street food stands: the same shop Satoshi and Katie stopped in just a few days ago, in fact. It's a relatively small place with wooden tables and chairs, plenty of light through the big windows, and a blue and pale yellow color scheme. At this time of day, it's not even very busy.] 01<@Ardweden> [Is anyone there early? Did someone grab a table? IS THIS A DATE? I don't even know!] 01<@Ardweden> [Start!] 06* Satoshi is inside the coffee shop, as, well, apparently he's punctual. ;) If nothing else, he's certainly not a jerk like Kyon! So he has a table and is sitting so he's facing the door and can see Wataru when he arrives. 06* Satoshi has taken his jacket and scarf off and draped them over the back of his chair. He's wearing a dark purple button-down shirt, collar slightly open to show the black T-shirt he has on underneath, black pants, and black boots. 06* Wataru shows up early, desperate for a moment to relax before the BIG DATE THAT IS ONLY A DATE IN HIS OWN MIND BUT THAT'S ENOUGH. He's wearing a nice light blue button-down shirt, and has traded his usual Waseda hoodie for a zip-up one in a soft heather grey. He's even wearing his second-nicest pants, a pair of dark blue jeans that are slightly shiny and that Izumi, to his eternal embarrassment, insisted his butt looked great in. Well. Be that as it may, there's no reason not to use every tool he can to his advantage, here. He looks around for a nice secluded table with a clear view of the door, and as he does so, he sees Satoshi. Looks like they had the same idea....... 06* Wataru has a crooked smile, and gives Satoshi a little wave, heading over. 06* Satoshi waves back. "Hey!" 06* Wataru makes his way there. Man, Satoshi looks *amazing* today. "Hey," he says. Do you want to go get something to drink? I figure leaving our coats here is enough to hold the table. That, and it's not really all that crowded. "Yeah, sure." He takes off his coat, slipping his wallet and tarot deck into his pockets in a practiced motion. "This place is kinda cool," he says, indicating the old shopping arcade. 06* Wataru hangs his coat on the chair opposite Satoshi's. 06* Satoshi nods. "Yeah, it's fun. I like walking through here." He then heads to the counter and proceeds to order a latte and a croissant. 06* Wataru orders a cappuccino and a muffin! He doesn't want to look like he's copying. "Do you come here a lot?" He smiles. When I'm in town, yeah. "That's right, you live in Maine now, huh?" 01<@Ardweden> [The boys get their baked goods and coffee products without incident. The muffin in particular looks really good.] 06* Satoshi receives his coffee and croissant and heads back to the table. "Yep, in the dorms at the university. It's not too bad there." "Must be intense, being away from home and everything, though." Wataru follows, careful not to drop anything. Man, that's one good- looking bran muffin. 06* Satoshi sets his stuff down and then sits himself down. He gets a bit of a distant look. "Yeah. It is. Between classes in a whole different language and keeping up with practice, it really is." 06* Wataru nods, taking a seat! "Man, I know what that's like. I grew up in Seattle - well, near Seattle - before moving here at 17. My family's Japanese-American, but still." 06* Satoshi takes a sip of his drink. "So we're kind of the opposite of each other in that way, then." "Hey, you know what they say," Wataru grins, making the words tumble out before his brain can put on the brakes. "Opposites attract." 06* Satoshi blinks, looking a bit surprised. "Things can be funny like that," he finally says, quietly. "But it's interesting that we met now. We should definitely keep in touch when I go back to Maine." 06* Wataru has a softer smile, nodding as he picks up his coffee. "I'd like that," he says. "It's sort of nuts that we've ended up crossing paths like this again, years later." 06* Satoshi finishes a bite of his croissant. He takes a quick look around the coffee shop before replying quietly, "I know. Some people would call it Arcana weirdness, but I'd prefer to think fate's not guiding everything we do." "Really?" This interests Wataru. "It's hard for me to think otherwise. I.. I mean generally," he adds, quickly. "Like, the fact that I showed up here, just a few months before... Well, you know. Before it all started. I think I was meant to be here." He takes a sip of his cappucino, and glances up at Satoshi... 06* Satoshi looks straight at Wataru. "Back then, yeah, we were all gathering together. I can believe that. But now? I don't think it's everything. I'd say we should all be free to be what we want... but true, it's not that easy." He takes another sip. 06* Wataru raises his eyebrows a bit, but unjudging. "Man... That's some good perspective," he says, with a hint of admiration. "I can't let go that easy, myself. -- But... I guess you guys were in the thick of it a lot more, and got more answers as it was going on, right? I mean... I feel like I'm still mostly in the dark." He exhales, putting his cup down. "Right now, it's like, figuring all 06* Wataru this stuff out is sort of the main thing I'm doing with my life. Meeting you guys has been a hell of a stroke of luck for that." 06* Satoshi smiles, but it's a bit sad. "I'd say 'more' is kind of a relative term, Wataru... wait, I'm sorry, is it okay if I call you that? I've gotten in the habit of calling people by their first names while I've been overseas." 06* Wataru has a bright expression! "Absolutely! Go for it. I'm from over there, right, I kind of miss it. So it's cool if - if I call you Satoshi, too?" 06* Satoshi nods. "Of course." He plays a bit with the remaining parts of his croissant. "So... there are things I could tell you, but I'm not really sure this is the best place to do it." 06* Wataru nods, breaking off a piece of his muffin. "I mean, if you want, we can go somewhere else after. I am legitimately interested in your hockey career too, if that's more cafe-appropriate conversation." He pops the piece of muffin into his mouth! Man, talking with cute boys isn't nearly as hard as he thought it would be! Not when they're this nice, at least! 06* Satoshi laughs. "Okay, let's save the heavier talk for after, then. So I'm still playing center, I'm on the fourth line right now, and my two closest friends on the team are one of my wingers and our backup backup goalie. It's been hard adjusting some but I'm having fun." "Haha, nice! I imagine it must be a lot more competitive than Sakuragaoka hockey? Are they really hard on you?" The coach is tough but fair. I had to do a lot of proving myself at the beginning, but I can keep up with them pretty well. Liam - he's my winger - still gives me a hard time, but that's just how he is, really. <@Grysar> [A waitress busses a nearby table. The cafe remains fairly quiet with customers slowly filtering in and out. Every now and then a smell of fresh baked goods wafts through the cafe as new items are put out.] 06* Wataru eats his tasty muffin! "That's awesome. You must be learning so much, in an environment like that, right?" Yeah. I've improved a lot already. It's easy to pick up things when you're in a tougher league. No disrespect to Sakuragaoka or Shunyo, but American college hockey is a whole world above Japanese high school hockey. 06* Satoshi eats more of his croissant. 06* Wataru nods avidly! "I was a big Canucks fan back in America. Well, I guess I still am. No disrespect to Japanese teams either, obviously, but it's just so much more a big deal in America and Canada and stuff. At least Japan still has some pretty great baseball!" 06* Satoshi takes another sip of his drink. "I never really followed baseball much, to be honest. Still probably won't, even though I know an actual professional player now." "Oh yeah, Sorata-san, huh." Wataru somehow manages to not outright roll his eyes, but it's kind of in his expression anyway. "I go to school with that guy, if you'll believe it. We've had classes together and stuff. It's so weird to think of him as being, you know. Part of all this, too." Sip. 06* Satoshi smiles wryly. "I take it you didn't get along all that well? What classes were you in together?" 06* Wataru looks away, grinning a bit. "We... It's complicated. We make it work I guess. Did a Socio project together, that was.. Yeah, that happened. And we've had a History and a Psych class together too. I think he's a Business major, though," Wataru says, looking towards Satoshi again. "I'm Sociology." 06* Satoshi drinks the last of his latte. "Must be nice, having a major. I'm still trying to figure out mine. Why sociology?" "I'm interested in people," he says, leaning his chin in a hand. "How they work. How groups work, how societies work. What can make people do awful things, or be deeply caring. I, uh..." Wataru picks up his cup in both his hands. "I've been on the outside looking in a lot. Learning about why people do the things they do is sort of a way for me to reconcile with society. I guess." 06* Satoshi finishes his croissant. "Huh. That's... is it because you came over here?" 06* Wataru looks down, and drinks about half of the remaining coffee. "It's a lot of things," he admits. A lot of things... He's trying not to let this get too dark, though. "I've never super fit in, even in America." 06* Satoshi leans back in his chair. "Well, you seem pretty fine to me. What brought you over here besides... well, that thing we have in common?" 06* Wataru looks at his hands, flat on the tabletop. Somewhere, in the kitchens, someone is washing clinking dishes. A sadistic DJ has put on Wham's "Last Christmas" again, even though it's January. 06* Wataru takes a deep breath, and releases it. "It's sort of a long story," he says. 06* Satoshi looks at Wataru. "We have time, if you want to tell it. And we can go somewhere more private." He takes a breath of his own. "I don't actually live that far from here. We could go to my place." 06* Wataru watches him, for a few beats. "I..." He looks down, then finishes his coffee in one sip. "Yeah. All right." He nods. 06* Wataru can't decide whether to panic because he's promising to tell the story he's never told anyone, not *anyone*, or because the hot guy he totally has a crush on has just INVITED HIM BACK TO HIS PLACE. So he decides to not panic at all, the two canceling each other out. He works on the last of the muffin. 06* Satoshi nods. "Okay, then." <@Grysar> [And so they head off. The journey by subway is actually over quite quickly, with talk of North America, Hockey, and Sociology passing the time.] [Satoshi's apartment is actually quite nice. It's on the second floor of a slightly upscale building. The inside, however, is fairly sterile. It doesn't show too many signs of being lived in, though admittedly Satoshi hasn't been spending much time there at all lately. There's a living room area with a few chairs and a TV, a small kitchen area, and three doors that likely lead to two bedrooms and a bathroom. One of the bedroom doors is partway open, and if Wataru gets at the right angle he can see a bed and a suitcase.] 06* Wataru does indeed get a little doki-doki when he steps into Satoshi's place. He's never been alone with a guy he liked in his otherwise empty apartment before. It's a special kind of feeling. An anything-could-happen kind of feeling. A maybe-I'll-get-my-first-kiss- today feeling... He tries to stay cool. Toes off his shoes, puts them down properly in the entrance. Hangs up his coat, if there's a place for it. 06* Satoshi hangs his coat on the coatrack (yes, there is one) and then heads for the living room chairs. (Satoshi also took off his shoes; America has not made him quite that much of a barbarian yet.) 06* Wataru follows! Ah! "This is a nice place," he says. 06* Satoshi has been fairly quiet during the last part of the walk and then once they got in. "Thanks," he says. He sits down. 06* Wataru feels a bit of distance between them... "You're hanging on to it while you're in America, then?" 06* Satoshi nods. "Yeah. I mean, I guess I could give it up, but I... don't quite want to. Even if it's silly for me to keep a place this big just for myself." 06* Wataru shrugs, easily. "You want to keep those links, that's normal. It's good to have a place to come home to." 06* Satoshi nods. "You're right. So." He folds his hands in his lap. "Where do you want to start?" 06* Wataru sighs, running his hands through his hair. "Right down to business, huh?" He hangs his head back a bit. 06* Satoshi looks apologetic. "Sorry, I'm being rude, aren't I? I just don't know how to gently segue into this." 06* Wataru has a chuckle. "It's fine...." He looks over at Satoshi, handsome and awkward-looking in his chair, worried about him. "I said I'd tell you the story. It's actually... Well, I've ... I've actually never told anyone everything before. It's... kind of bad." He bites his lip. "It's sort of gonna be a huge downer, and... and... I don't know what you'll think of me after." He looks away, 06* Wataru unable to keep his gaze. This is definitely not how he expected his first date to go. "I'll still tell you if you want," he says, softly. "But I'd ask that you please keep it between us." 06* Satoshi gives him a small but sympathetic smile. "If it's related to the Arcana, depressing is often par for the course. I promise I won't tell anyone." 06* Wataru glances over, and manages to return the smile. "Yeah. It is related. But I didn't know that at first, of course." He takes a deep breath. Nothing's forcing him to tell this story, he tells himself; it's a choice he's making. He's choosing to trust. First love, first person he tells. It could backfire horribly, but it could also be the beginning of something groundbreaking. "So I was 06* Wataru teased a lot," he begins, quietly. 06* Satoshi continues to look sympathetic. "I've been there," he says. 06* Wataru looks at him. "You?" He smiles, crooked, a bit sad. "Hard to believe." Why's it hard to believe? "C-Cause... you know," Wataru might blush just a tad. "You're... athletic, and friendly, and handsome, and all that. Me, I.... Well, like I said, I never fit in." He hears Izumi's voice in his head, though, telling him not to put himself down. Right, Izumi. You're right. I'm trying. 06* Satoshi blinks. "I'm handsome? What?" 06* Wataru blushes a bunch more. Shit. "I mean, you are," he blurts. "No more than facts..." <@Grysar> [Wataru is left feeling rather awkward by this particular revelation and ends up spilling his phone from his bag or pocket. It careens along the floor, landing by Satoshi's feet.] <@Grysar> [Clearly showing is a recent message from Izumi: "how date? He still punctual?! u kiss?] 06* Satoshi laughs. It's actually a little bitter. "I spent most of high school convinced I was fairly hideous-" And then there's the phone and Satoshi reaches down to pick it up. There's no way he can't see that message. His eyes widen and he blushes a little. Then he walks over to Wataru and holds it out. 06* Wataru takes it, sees it, and grips it, finding his gaze stuck to the wall a few inches to the left of Satoshi, and his face boiling hot. Waiting, just waiting for the axe to fall. "Wataru?" Satoshi's voice is shaking a bit as he speaks. "You were... were you asking me out? Do you like me?" 06* Wataru feels almost like he's shaking, himself. But why hide it, now? "I know... I... know you don't... I mean, you probably don't...." He takes a calming breath. "Yeah," he says on a dry throat, gathering all his courage to meet Satoshi's gaze. "I just wanted to hang out. You know? Get to know you a little. I didn't expect... anything. But... Yeah. I think you're... I think you're pretty great. So. That's me," he says, managing the shadow of a smile through the fear and the pain. 06* Satoshi sits down on the floor, right next to Wataru's chair. He's quiet for a bit. "I'm flattered," he says, finally, looking up at Wataru. "But you're right. You really don't know me. I think... maybe you like someone who doesn't really exist." 06* Wataru has a damp chuckle. "Probably. I mean, shit. I had ... I had a crush on you back in school, you know? And then when I saw you again... I've never dated anybody," Wataru looks at him, open, just wanting Satoshi to see, wanting him to understand. "But meeting you again made me feel like... maybe I wanted to take a chance. And maybe my high school crush - I mean, yes, of course my high school crush is just a figment of my imagination. I'm not dumb, I know that. But you're still that guy with that helluva smile that makes the sun come out. I thought maybe we could hang out and see if we might be friends. And if somewhere in there was my snowball's chance in hell it would become something more, I wasn't going to deny myself that just because I was scared. So I asked you out for coffee, because if I didn't take that first step, then nothing would ever happen." 06* Satoshi laughs. It's still a little shaky. "High school? Really? You must've only seen me with my helmet on, then. And my smile?" He closes his eyes and looks down, though he is smiling. "You're making me sound pretty amazing." And then he opens his eyes and looks back up at Wataru. "You're incredibly brave, telling me all this. Braver than I would be if the situation were reversed, I think. But I can't... I can't promise anything more than friendship right now." 06* Wataru swallows, and nods... He feels a bit like he's been bulldozed, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. "I... I mean, I get that," he says, encouragingly. "I didn't expect... I mean. There's like, two people alive who even know I'm..." He sighs. "If you still wanna be friends after all this, I'm down, Satoshi. I'm not the kind of guy to pine and plot after someone I know is straight. But... I also feel I need to tell you that you are a lot more attractive than you realize, man. Don't be so hard on yourself. You look good. People with boy-band- face get way too much credit in the world." 06* Satoshi stands up and stretches. "People keep telling me that. Maybe someday I'll believe it. Besides, I totally had a boy band face when I was younger. Hang on a sec." He heads over to the bedroom with the open door. 06* Wataru watches him get up and *totally* puts the lie to his very recent statement about not pining as he watches Satoshi stretch, but manages to behave, and then quizzically watches him go into the other room. Hm. 06* Satoshi comes back. He's holding a newspaper clipping. "Here," he says, holding it out to Wataru. 06* Wataru is intrigued, and takes it, looking it over. [It's a picture of a younger Satoshi, probably about 13 or so. He's dressed in a figure skating costume and is on an ice rink. He doesn't quite have a boy band face so much as "younger brother of a boy band member who's probably going to be pushed into a music career fairly soon," but still. There's part of a headline underneath but it's mostly torn off. Wataru can't really make out much than "-tanabe" and "Junior W-".] 06* Wataru finds himself grinning, and looks up at Satoshi. "This is you," he says. This is super cute!! 06* Satoshi nods. "That was me." He moves back to his chair. "You can keep that, if you want. I don't think I need it anymore." 06* Wataru has a soft, crooked smile. "Yeah?" Hah. That's sweet... "I didn't know you'd been a figure skater. No wonder you've got so much grace on the ice." 06* Satoshi half-smiles. "It really does help. Not too many people know about the figure skating part, though. I'm not sure anyone else knows the whole story." 06* Wataru gives an encouraging smile? The short version is that I was a competitive figure skater, I had a terrible performance at the Junior World Championships, and I stopped after that and switched to hockey. And I've never told anyone that. "Oh..." Wataru feels pretty touched by this. "Well." He nods. "I won't tell," he says, and smiles softly. "And I'll hide the evidence," he adds, tucking the clipping into his pocket. There! All gone. "Anyway, you're back on top now," he says. 06* Satoshi settles deeper into the chair. "Working on it." He lets out a slow breath. "So, before ... well, everything, you were starting to tell me your story. Are you still up for it?" "Ah, man," Wataru laughs a bit, the last of the tension leaving him as he too sinks back into his chair. "I could, I guess. I kind of feel like I've been dragged behind a truck. But yeah. I guess you know why I was bullied, now. At least I won't need to make shit up about that." 06* Satoshi nods solemnly. "No, you won't." "I was always kind of nerdy and weird, and I was Asian, and I was gay, even if I never said anything to anyone about it. I was ... there might as well have been a big target painted on my face. I got called things, pushed around, stolen from. Beat up after school." Wataru's eyes go a bit glassy, although his voice is eerily conversational. "Every day was ridicule, and shame, and fear. And around 15, 16, I came to realize I really did like guys. And on top of that, as if I wasn't enough of a freak as it was, well. I could do this." Wataru pulls a 50 yen coin out of his pocket and tosses it lightly in the air, where it stays, spinning a foot or two above his hand. He glances at Satoshi sidelong. 06* Satoshi watches the coin move. "So that's your Arcana power? Telekinesis?" 06* Wataru nods. "It scared the living shit outta me as a teenager." 06* Satoshi blinks in realization. "Of course. You were in America and you would have had no idea what was going on. Well, not that most of us had an idea what was going on, but at least some of us were together when it started happening." 06* Wataru nods...! He catches up the coin, puts it back in his pocket. "That would probably have made it a bit easier. For me, it was just one more shame I carried with me. One more way I was all wrong." He sighs. "Especially.... especially after something happened." "Oh, Wataru," Satoshi says, softly. "You're not all wrong. Really. You're not." 06* Wataru gives him a pained, gentle smile, vulnerable like an open wound. "I've spent the last few years working at telling myself that. It's... you see why understanding Arcana and my place in it would be important to me." 06* Satoshi nods again. "Of course. So... what happened?" 06* Wataru breathes. "Okay. This is the really bad part." He puts his hands on his knees. "One day..... Three boys cornered me, when I was walking home from school." He closes his eyes, taking deep breaths. He's been through this with therapists; he can do this. This is a safe place, and he trusts Satoshi. Maybe foolishly, but whatever. "Th... they... From the start it just felt different. They..." 06* Wataru is visibly having trouble. It's okay. I'm here. 06* Wataru opens his eyes to look at him. "I'm giving you my trust, here, because I believe in my heart you'll keep it. Even my best friend doesn't know this." 06* Satoshi meets his gaze. "It's your story. It's not my place to tell anyone. Ever." 06* Wataru nods, then, somewhat invigorated. "Thank you. Okay." He takes a good breath. "They came at me with purpose, like I wasn't used to from the usual bullies. One was a boy from my school. The other two weren't. When they were closer I could see they..." He swallows. "One had a baseball bat. Another just had a length of old pipe, and I can never actually remember if the third guy was armed. But." Wataru glasses over again a bit, hands balling into fists on his knees. "I thought I was gonna die, Satoshi. They shoved me around, and the blows started falling, and my god I knew I was gonna die there." 06* Satoshi looks pretty horrified, but at the story. Definitely not at Wataru. "You're still here. You're still alive." "Yeah," Wataru says, voice shaky, almost laughing, almost crying. "Me, I am. But those three boys?" He looks at Satoshi, and there's a hint of hysteria in his eyes, drowning in a hell of a lot of sorrow. "I got off on self-defense, Satoshi. Because everyone could see that's what it was. They found me covered in their blood and wide-eyed and unresponsive, in what they called a "fugue state". Me, I had a couple bruises and fractures from the beating. I got off on self-defense, even if they never got a satisfactory explanation for how those boys had died, bodies crushed under the impossible-to-lift weight of those dumpsters and vehicles." Wataru is shaking, now, fists trembling on his knees. "But I know," he whispers. "I told them I didn't remember. But I do. I can't forget it. I can't ever forget it." A tear drops from one of Wataru's eyes. 06* Satoshi takes a deep breath. "Wataru... you are completely allowed to say no and I will completely understand if you do, especially given everything earlier, but... I would like to give you a hug. May I?" 06* Wataru laughs, a raw, open sound, a sound of letting go, as the tears come more freely. "Yeah," he says, with a sniffle! 06* Satoshi walks over to Wataru's chair, kneels down, and gently hugs him. "You were defending yourself. You're not the first Arcana who's had to do that and had their powers involved to more of an extent than they would have wanted to had it not been a life-or-death situation." 06* Wataru hugs back, letting the kindness and the tenderness and the understanding ground him, bring him back to himself..... 06* Satoshi lets go and sits on his heels. "Thank you for telling me. I promise no one will ever hear this from me." "Thank you, Satoshi. That really means a lot." He exhales, and wipes his face with a hand. "So yeah. That's why I left. Everyone was talking, everyone knew, even though they tried to keep my name out of it because I was a minor and stuff. And... That place, that town, that whole country, a fresh start was what I needed. My dad had a sister in Tokyo. I switched schools, changed lives. I started over. And I got a lot of therapy. And it worked," he manages a weak smile. "It's still hard, but I'm still here. And it's getting easier all the time." It may never be easy, though. I'm not saying this to be depressing, but it can be true. I'm still coming to terms with who I really am. 06* Wataru reaches out to touch Satoshi's arm. "Your Arcana power?" 06* Satoshi closes his eyes. "In the past I was a force to be reckoned with. But the present me is definitely not the reckoning type." He opens his eyes and looks at Wataru. "There's more to it than that, but I think we've had enough revelations for one day and it's dark outside and I'm hungry. What do you say to getting dinner?" 06* Wataru smiles, quizzically. "Okay? I mean, okay. I'm curious now, though, so you're welcome to tell me more later. But yeah." He exhales heavily. "It's been a hell of an afternoon. Not *precisely* how I imagined my first date going," he chuckles! 06* Satoshi stands up. "Yeah, usually the deep, dark confessions are for the third date." Did he just...? Nah, it was probably just a joke. Right? 06* Wataru laughs, and stands up too. "All right. Let's get some food." <@Grysar> [Right? Maybe? Either way, end!]