[January 3, 2004. Evening.] [Jihatsu] Finally, Wataru collapses on his couch and pulls out his phone. Izumi's message is still there, blinking at him, the catalyst to all this. He sighs, and smiles, exhausted. He flips it open. _Hey. No kissing, but there was a hug. I don't think it was really a date - the truth happened, and he turned me down, but he was wonderful about it. He's even more wonderful than I expected. This was one of the most intense days I've ever lived. But good. Wow. I'm super exhausted. I can talk anyway if you want though._ He knows it's unclear, and his phone cuts it up into a couple messages, but whatever.... Best he can do in his current state. Hasn't had this many feels in years. He flips it shut and closes his eyes, phone dangling from his hand. [Ardweden] Wataru closes his eyes and rests. Right when he's about to drift off to sleep, his phone rings. [Jihatsu] Wataru grunts, jerking awake. He answers without looking who it is. "Uh, moshi-moshi?" [Ardweden] "Wataru!" That's Izumi's voice, and it's a little too loud. Her brain seems to catch up with her excitement, though, because it's immediately followed with a more subdued, "Did I wake you up?" [Jihatsu] Wataru winces, but smiles. "Nah," he says, and it's sort of obviously a half-truth at best. He pulls himself into a seated position, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. "Hi." [Ardweden] "Hi!" Her voice gets its energy back, coupled with mild concern. "How are you? Your text was kind of confusing." [Jihatsu] Wataru chuckles. "I'm good. Sorry, yeah. I don't even really remember what I wrote - it's been a hell of a day." He stretches. "Do you want to come over? -- Sorry, I don't mean to worry you. The date - not date - went really well actually. Like, not romance-well. But I feel like we became pretty good friends really fast. Man..." He sighs, leaning back on the couch. "We talked for *hours*." [Ardweden] "Awesome! Yeah, you sound tired. Do you want me to bring anything? And you know I'm crashing on your couch if I do!" [Jihatsu] "This is fine. And I know you have tragedy ice cream. Can it just be delicious friendship ice cream instead? I could still use some chocolate in my life right now." He chuckles. "The neighbours will PROBABLY think we're doing horrible immoral things together, by the way. Just FYI. It's pretty late. Your call!" [Ardweden] "That'd be *way* more wrong if you weren't my number one boyfriend. I'll be right over!" And then she clicks off the phone, probably to do exactly that. [Jihatsu] Wataru chuckles. Ah.... Boyfriend. Hmm... It would be kind of cool, maybe, being one of of those... *Having* one of those..... He sighs, and puts his phone down. Meeting with Satoshi has left this little fire burning inside of him, a little flame that wants another, and that even cold tears in a cold city didn't manage to put out. Until Izumi comes, Wataru sits on the couch, thinking about this and what it means. [Ardweden] It's half an hour and change before Izumi shows up, announcing her presence with a knock that Wataru knows as distinctly hers. [Jihatsu] Wataru smiles, and gets up to let her in. "Heyyyy." [Ardweden] Izumi's on the other side, dressed for the cold. She smiles - "Hey!" - and shuffles in, shedding her shoes in short order for slippers before making a beeline to the kitchen area and dropping a plastic bag that obviously contains three cartons of ice cream on the counter. She also has a duffel bag that she drops nearby; it seems she was serious about that staying the night business. [Jihatsu] Wataru stares! "That's a lot of ice cream," he mentions, stating the obvious. [Ardweden] "I didn't know what kind you'd want!" Izumi says defensively, then adds, "Or if we'd run out." [Jihatsu] Wataru smiles. "You're the best. Thank you." [Ardweden] Izumi smiles back, then hesitates for maybe half a second before stepping forward and giving Wataru a big I'm-still-in-my-coat-and-it's-cold-out hug. [Jihatsu] Wataru grins, hugging back!! He's not the biggest guy, but Izumi is tiny, so Izumy hugs are always adorable and kind of really fun. Envelop! [Ardweden] Izumi gets enveloped by a nice, big, warm hug! "How're you doing?" she asks while he hugs her. Never mind that he told her some two or three times already. [Jihatsu] "I'm.... Coping. It's been a day." He sighs. "Come on, let's ice cream. I want the most chocolatey one you have." [Ardweden] "You got it." Izumi lets go and moves to the counter, pulling cartons out of the bag and taking some time to evaluate relative chocolate content. "Oh, how about this one!" She holds it up. "Chocolate ice cream with fudge swirls, brownies, and chocolate shavings. There's some marshmallows in it, too, if that's okay." [Jihatsu] "Oh yes. Yes yes yes." <3! "Pleeease." He reaches for it! [Ardweden] Izumi laughs and hands over the carton. "It's all yours." [Jihatsu] Wataru grabs a spoon, too. "Thank you madam." Score! [Ardweden] "You are welcome, sir!" Izumi grabs her own carton of ice cream - this one caramel with chocolate - and spoon. She goes to sit on the couch, removing outdoor clothing as necessary and shifting around to make herself comfortable. [Jihatsu] Wataru follows, but slows for a moment, his mind pulled back towards Satoshi - a pang of missing him all over again, sudden and distracting... Satoshi... He shakes it off. Enough dwelling for one night. ".....We should put this in the freezer then," he mumbles, turning back to go store the unclaimed ice cream. [Ardweden] Izumi finishes settling in and watches Wataru with undisguised, mild concern. This may be an ongoing theme tonight. [Jihatsu] Wataru returns to her, still trying to shake off the lingering call of memories of Satoshi. "Yeah. So. I ... I'm in a weird mood," he chuckles, and then sighs. "It was a weird day. I ... I don't think I've ever connected with anyone that quickly. I mean... I told him a lot. Like *really* a lot. About... all kinds of everything. The bullying even. It... was... it was intense." He cracks open the ice cream. "Not even sure how it happened. It was like floodgates opening, you know? He told me a whole bunch about himself, too. I feel like we really got to know each other in those few hours together." [Ardweden] There's some silence while Izumi puts a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. "Wow," she says, "No wonder you're tired. But it sounds good." She smiles. "He pulled you out of your shell. Maybe you guys are soulmates or something." [Jihatsu] "Oh god," Wataru says around a cold mouthful. "There's something there for sure. But he's not interested in me romantically, though. I wish he was, but I promised him I'd be good. I'll deal. I'm not the type of guy to pine after a straight guy, you know?" SIGH. He has another spoonful. [Ardweden] "Mmph," Izumi says in agreement, then: "But this is good! Somebody else knows, and he's cool with it! Maybe he can help somehow. Does he have cute hockey friends?" [Jihatsu] "Hah. They'd all be in America though. I need cute hockey friends in Japan." He sighs, but it's a good one - looks like he's finally relaxing. "You're right though. Both people I've told have been totally fine with it. That's... I mean, it's really encouraging, you know?" He scrapes the melting ice cream from the edges of the carton. [Ardweden] "Yeah," Izumi agrees with another smile. "I mean, don't just go all out if you don't want, but... this means that there are people who will accept you." Which she keeps trying to tell you, Wataru, she doesn't say as she spoons more ice cream into her mouth. [Jihatsu] He smiles a bit. "He's leaving for America in the morning," he prods the ice cream with a spoon..... "I.... I miss him. I miss him already. It's so dumb. " Prod. Prod. [Ardweden] Izumi nudges Wataru's leg with her foot. "You'd miss me," she says. "That's not dumb." [Jihatsu] "Yeah, but I've known you for *years*. I only just got to know him today." He gives Izumi a weak smile.... "You know.... All of this.... It's kind if made me think that maybe, it might... Like... I might be willing to try. You know. Meet somebody. Not like I have any idea where or how," he chuckles, on the edge of discomfort. "But ... There was something, today. Something I've never really felt before. I felt like... you know, like everything could turn out okay. How, like, maybe he'd ... Maybe we could be together. Maybe I could have somebody like that, somebody I could fall in love with, you know? One day." [Ardweden] Izumi nods. "You can." And then, more firmly, "You will." She points her spoon at Wataru. "You deserve him! And he's out there. So some day, you're gonna find him." [Jihatsu] Wataru smiles.....! "I wonder where I'd be without your optimism, Izumi." [Ardweden] "You'd probably still be in cram school even after you got into Waseda," Izumi says with a teasing grin and another nudge. Mmm, ice cream! [Jihatsu] "Oh, psh," he scoffs. "And I'd probably hate myself, honestly." He smiles more, has a bite of ice cream. "But hey, where would you be without me, right?" [Ardweden] "Uuuugh, I don't wanna think about it. Still living with my parents, probably." Izumi flops back onto the couch, spoon in her mouth. [Jihatsu] Wataru joins her in this. "...Man," he says, after a while. "I've literally never thought about myself as someone who could like, have a relationship before. It's sort of scary and awesome, you know?" [Ardweden] Izumi nods in agreement. "Scary and awesome sounds like dating in general." She scoops some of the softer ice cream off the edges of her pint. [Jihatsu] Wataru glances at her. "Anything new with you...?" He gives an encouraging smile. [Ardweden] "I don't know." Izumi suddenly seems more interested in her ice cream. "Same as usual, I guess. There's been nothing really exciting going on for me - not like you. My classes are okayish, I still haven't found a guy I really want to be with, and the job's all right." She seems to come to herself and smiles at Wataru. "But it's fine." [Jihatsu] Wataru reaches over to tousle her hair. "You'll find a guy. Sooner or later someone will be wowed by your amazingness. -- I was gonna ask whatever happened to that Shunsuke guy, buuut I guess I'm better off shutting up now?" [Ardweden] Izumi squeals and squirms, which is not always the best when someone's prone to flailing and has ice cream in hand. "Hey!" But her hair gets tousled nevertheless. She gives Wataru her best baleful look, but there's ice cream on her nose now and her hair's kind of messed up and she's just not very good at the fake evil eye anyway... yeah, it's not working. [Jihatsu] Wataru beams. "You are the cutest. You really are! All right. I will personally strive to find you piles of cute straight guys to pick from. I have an idea even, you can come by Waseda some time and check out the various clubs and teams. Your own fault your school is like 90% women." He grins. It's easier to plan for someone else's happiness than to work on your own! [Ardweden] Izumi blushes slightly the compliment. "I know, I know. I'm not smart or dedicated enough." She pauses while she wipes ice cream off her nose. "Do you think they'd mind?" And then right after: "You should come with me." [Jihatsu] Wataru smiles. "I will. But d-don't try to set me up! I'm.... complicated. I.. I felt good talking with Satoshi because... we already had a connection. I think I'd be terrified to talk to somebody otherwise, you know? Even if, you know, like. He was into guys and stuff. Do you know what I mean?" He asks, earnestly. "Am I being too weird?" [Ardweden] Izumi snorts. "No." And then she grins. "Well, maybe a *little* weird. But it's fine! We can check out the teams together." [Jihatsu] Wataru smiles with some relief. "Great. It's a plan, then. Maybe we can try that this week." [Ardweden] "Yeah, when school starts back up." Izumi sighs, sinking farther into the couch. Maybe it'll swallow her. "I kinda wish I got into Waseda somehow. Maybe through magic. School would be more fun with you there." [Jihatsu] Wataru smiles. "I promise to try magic," he teases! "Oh hey, actually," he pulls his tarot deck out of the pocket of his coat, draped over the side of the couch! [Ardweden] Izumi's eyebrows raise, and she takes her spoon out of her mouth. "You're gonna do a reading on my love life?" [Jihatsu] Wataru makes sure to keep his expression playful and straightforward. "Why not! Could be fun." He hasn't concealed his tarot "hobby" from her, deciding rather to hide in plain sight. He's always got his cards on him, anyway. As far as he knows, she totally buys the angle of 'we both totally know this shit ain't real but it can be fun to play around with it, ha ha'. [Ardweden] "Eh... yeah, sure." Izumi jams her spoon into her ice cream and looks for a place to put it so she can be a proper recipient for a tarot reading. Wataru's always gotten the feeling she doesn't really buy the whole tarot thing, but at the same time, she isn't about to make him feel bad about his goofy hobby. "Why not." [Jihatsu] Wataru sets them up on the carpeted floor, sitting comfortably cross- legged - he's always hated seiza. He pulls up a simple five-card spread: - The current situation in the center, signifying where Izumi finds herself, romantically; - To the left of that card, the past influences and causes that have brought her here; - To the right, Izumi's short-to-medium term romantic future; - At the bottom, under the first card, the underlying reason for Izumi's current situation/dissatisfaction, and - At the top, the things that Izumi needs to do/think about/remember/change in order to move towards that future in position 3. [Grysar] Center: Five of Cups Left: Eight of Cups Right: Six of Pentacles Bottom: Six of Swords Top: Three of Cups Wataru's hand tingles slightly as he draws the Eight of Cups and the Six of Swords. This cards have a bit more pull about them with a troubled connection in the former case and an emptiness in the latter. As he places the final card, he gets a sudden flash of an image of Izumi sitting and reading, Cinderella style, as three birds rest on her shoulders and arm. [Jihatsu] Wataru tries not to look alarmed - that's the last thing Izumi would want. "All right," he says, with a bit of a smile. "So! This card here, this is your current conflict. Five of cups looks pretty dreary, but here I think it just means you're sort of coming up empty, right? Maybe you don't like dwelling on it, but there's a loss and regret there.There's something you wish you could have had, but you don't." He gives her a warm, sympathetic smile. [Ardweden] Izumi shifts in her position across from Wataru, looking at the Five of Cups: a dude looking sadly at the spilled and empty cups before him. "Yeah, okay," she says, going along. "I guess that's about right. It's not like I've had a lot of luck ever." She looks at Wataru. "Loss and regret?" [Jihatsu] "Or just an empty feeling. Like you wish those cups were full, you know?" He indicates the next card. "This one is interesting. It really echoes the first one. You find yourself at this place of emptiness because... maybe you're getting ready to let go of something. Usually, this card means that you're realizing that it's time to move on. That something is ending. I can't know what's in your head, but it could be something as simple as, you know, turning 20. We're not kids anymore, we've got adult lives ahead, adult expectations and responsibilities and all that shit. So maybe it's the grief period of saying goodbye to your teenage years." [Ardweden] Izumi looks at the reading and nods. She's following it so far. [Jihatsu] "All right, so, here's where things are going," he indicates the Six of Pentacles. "This is a really ambiguous, giving-and-taking kind of card. It's a card that asks you to think about what having or not having really means. Maybe you're in a place right now where you've been finding your recent lovelife unsatisfying, and it's leaving you empty, but the answer isn't necessarily to try harder. The answer might be that you should take a step back, think about why you want love so bad, and what a relationship means to you. You know?" [Ardweden] Izumi lets out a breath. Despite herself, she seems to be getting sucked into the reading a bit. "I don't know." She sounds a little lost. "Maybe I don't want to be lonely?" [Jihatsu] Wataru nods... He points to the bottom most card, the Six of Swords. "Maybe it's here. This card says, there's a sadness inside you. Nothing big - just a small, little every day sadness you carry around. It could mean something a lot worse - trauma, being uprooted, depression - but if I know you, right, it's probably more like... A sadness you carry around in your pocket. A loneliness, maybe, like you said. And the connection here," he gestures between the bottom card and the center one, "is that this loneliness is making you put all the blame for your unhappiness on your lack of fulfilling romantic relationships. But maybe that's not the only thing to blame." He points to the top card, the Three of Cups. "This card, man, if you had a card that was just you, in my eyes, this is who you'd be. All that energy and exuberance and fearless fun, helping and caring and sharing. And this is what the cards are saying you've gotta be, Izumi. Maybe it's time you acknowledge the sadness you keep in your pocket, but stop worrying about it. You don't have to be lonely just because you're alone. And anyway, I don't think you're capable of being alone. You dragged me out into the world, didn't you?" He smiles. "This spread is telling me, 'Izumi should be Izumi, and the rest will fall into place'. Maybe not, like, you know, tomorrow. But it will." [Ardweden] Izumi looks at the cards, unusually thoughtful. She reaches over to the Three of Cups. "But... if I'm Izumi, then why aren't things falling into place already?" [Jihatsu] Do you ever feel like you should be somebody you're not? Like, you're trying to be what people want and you're kind of forgetting you? Because I sure as shit do." He suddenly remembers the ice cream, which is super melting by now, but that just means it's time to RESCUE IT by putting it in his mouth! [Ardweden] Izumi blinks. She looks... surprisingly lost, and her attention goes back to those stupid cards that don't mean anything anyway. "Yeah," she says, forgetting about her melting ice cream for now. "Maybe I do, sometimes." This is followed immediately by a groan. "What am I *doing* with my life?" [Jihatsu] Wataru scootles over, and sits beside her, draping an arm around her. Bringing his ice cream with him. He gives her room to continue if she wants! [Ardweden] Izumi gets a Wataru half-hug, and she sees his ice cream and then immediately rescues her own. She shoves a spoonful into her mouth and says, around it, "I mean I'm going to college and I don't even know why. It's just something to do. I have like no marketable skills except customer service maybe, and ugh." She leans into her friend. He's warm. [Jihatsu] Wataru leans back. "I'm going to an expensive school to get in an expensive degree in an unmarketable bullshit discipline," Wataru says around his own ice cream. "Just because I like doing it. I think we're both pretty much faking it right now." [Ardweden] "At least you *like* what you're doing. I kind of hate school, but I don't know what else to do." She eats more ice cream. [Jihatsu] Wataru rubs her arm. "So, you go to school while you figure it out. You're 19, it's dumb to magically know what you're gonna do for the rest of your life when you're our age. I'm studying Sociology because I find it cool, but like, there's no jobs in this. What am I gonna be, a university professor?" [Ardweden] "I'd take your class." [Jihatsu] Wataru grins. "Something to consider seriously, then." He eats ice cream. Could he be a cool tweedy old professor one day? Hell, there are worse things to aspire to be than Giles. That could be pretty fucking badass. [Ardweden] Izumi nods, still leaning into Wataru, and eats her ice cream. [End!]