[Date: January 11, 2004, Tokyo, morning / January 10, 2004, Orono, Maine, 
evening]

[Ciara]
It's two nights before classes are scheduled to resume at the University 
of Maine.  The hockey team has just pulled off a stunning 6-0 victory 
over Sacred Heart, so Satoshi is in an excellent mood as he returns to 
his dorm room, starts up his laptop, and double-checks Haruko's 
instructions on proper webcam setup.  His jacket gets hung in his closet 
and his shoes get kicked under the bed, leaving him in a long-sleeved 
olive green raglan shirt with darker gray sleeves and collar, and a pair 
of blue jeans.  His hair is pulled back into a short ponytail, which is 
different; every so often he reaches back to fiddle with it before 
dropping his hand back down in mild annoyance with this new habit he 
seems to be developing.

He sits at his desk and watches his PC finish booting up before checking 
his e-mail and confirming Wataru's contact information, then starting up 
the chat program, entering said contact information in, and clicking 
connect.  Hopefully this will work, since it's the first time he's tried 
video chatting.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru also has a brand new webcam set up on the top shelf of his desk, 
above and beside his monitor. He's tested it to make sure the video 
works, and has filled a folder with really dumb pictures of himself using 
various video effects, but right now he's back to serious business. He's 
got the space heater in his room cranked up, but it's still cold, and 
he's warming his hands on a giant mug of miso soup. He's in grey and 
white flannel PJ bottoms, fuzzy socks, a vintage-style dark yellow 
Spiderman t-shirt, and his thick grey-and-blue hoodie over it. The blinds 
are drawn, but a soft white light is still shining in.

He thinks he has his setup all ready, and now he just waits for SATOSHI 
TO MESSAGE HIM FROM AMERICA.

OH

THERE HE IS

[Ciara]
Satoshi taps his fingers on his desk as he waits for the connection to 
resolve... ah, there we go.  A black rectangle pops up on his screen, and 
a second later, the video feed comes through.

"Hey, Wataru!" He grins and waves.  "I can see you just fine on my end.  
Am I coming through okay on yours?"

[Jihatsu]
"<Oh my god!> Hey!" Wataru grins, waving. "I can see you! Whoa, this is 
awesome!" 

Arg, he's got his hair up in a cute little ponytail, what new torture is 
this

[Ciara]
"I think there might be a little bit of a lag," Satoshi comments, "but 
seriously, we're talking to each other from like halfway across the 
world, so no complaints here, really."

He leans back in his chair slightly.  "So do you want to hear the awesome 
news first?"

[Jihatsu]
"Yes." Wataru's grin is almost hurting his face. _Satoshi is so excited 
to talk to me!! I'm friends with Satoshi!!!_

[Ciara]
"So I told you we had a game today, right?  I got a goal and an assist!  
It was great!  Perfect pass from Liam, shot it right over the guy's glove 
hand.  Then later on I saw him wide-open in front of the net, so I passed 
it his way, and he faked the goalie out and shot it right around him!"  
Satoshi is *beaming*.  Wataru, in his (admittedly limited) experience 
with him, has never seen him so happy.  "This is such a great team.  I'm 
so lucky to be here."

[Jihatsu]
The enthusiasm is contagious, and also so incredibly adorable - he has, 
he thinks, seen him this happy, but only once, two years ago, when 
another game-winning grin smashed right into his heart. 

"Holy shit! That's amazing! Congrats!"

[Ciara]
"Thanks!  So what's going on with you?  Your Coming of Age Day is..."  He 
thinks for a second.  "...tomorrow, right?  Sorry, it takes me a while to 
get used to figuring out the time difference."

[Jihatsu]
"Yeaaahhhh," Wataru says. "It's gonna be something, all right. I've 
managed to find an outfit I am not actually mortified to be seen in, so, 
yeah. My friend Izumi is super excited, though. She's only turning 20 in 
a few weeks, but she gets to do it anyway, and she's got this whole 
extravagant outfit all picked out."

He feels a bit sheepish - the conversation went over to him, already, 
before he could say the sentence it took him a few long seconds to piece 
together, about how Satoshi's team is lucky to have him, too... but he 
files it away, for easy retrieval later if the occasion presents itself.

[Ciara]
Satoshi gets a teasing grin. "I'm curious about what your aunt had picked 
out for you, but I won't push if you don't want to tell me.  Send me a 
picture of you guys tomorrow, though?  I'd like to see."  His expression 
turns contemplative.  "I wonder if I'll even be around for mine, given 
when it happens and when games and classes start here.  But that's not 
for another two years, so I guess I really don't need to think too hard 
about it now."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru blinks. "For real? Wait, how... How old are you?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi leans back in his chair.  "Paperwork says I was born August 1, 
1985."  Which is kind of an odd way of putting it, but.  "Uh, not that 
I'm fishing for birthday presents or anything.  Of course, you could tell 
me yours and I'll call it even."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru chuckles. "Duly noted." In fact, he actually does note it, on a 
scrap of paper! But, wow. Eighteen. Wataru sort of feels like he's 
robbing the cradle. Well. Would have been, or something? "Me, April 9th, 
1983. And I guess I could show you; there's pictures." 

[Ciara]
Satoshi types something onto his computer.  "Got it.  And yeah, send them 
to me!  I've got one to send to you... but I should probably start 
telling the road trip story first so it makes sense.  You ready for 
this?"

[Jihatsu]
"Oh, yeah you were talking about that, huh! Sure - let me send you my 
pics first, if you want? But I'm warning you, you better not use these 
for blackmail." He grins, then opens an email window. "Just two seconds!"

[Ciara]
Satoshi laughs.  "No blackmail, I promise. So yeah, the road trip.  First 
of all, did you know that the legal drinking age in most of Canada is 
nineteen?"  Oh, hey, look at that; Satoshi has an e-mail from Wataru!  He 
opens it up and clicks on the attachments.

[Jihatsu]
"Oh man." Wataru grins, shaking his head. College stories! College 
stories. 

In the email, a very ruffled-looking Wataru is standing in some kind of 
shop, in a formal men's kimono, with striped hakama trousers and a grey 
jacket, with full-on white puffy tassel. 

(Not unlike this style, but in grey http://www.thejapanguy.com/wp-
content/uploads/2011/01/Seijinshiki2.png)

[Ciara]
Satoshi's eyebrows go up as he looks at the pictures.  He bites his lip 
to keep from laughing.  "That's... that's certainly *traditional*," he 
manages to say.  "I, um, I think your expression really sells it."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru colours a bit, but is still smiling. "My aunt Midori is... 
special. She alternates between being super old-school and totally New 
Age. She's cool though - she understood when I was like, no way. So, now 
it's... Actually," he rolls his chair back and gets up, pulling his suit 
from the closet door. "Can you see it?" He tries to position it in front 
of the camera. It's a medium grey, with a light pink shirt and a really 
fun darker pink striped tie. 

[Ciara]
Satoshi leans in closer to his laptop. "Yeah, I can.  Nice color scheme.  
Send me a picture from tomorrow, too?" He sits back.  "And no offense, 
but you're definitely not old school.  Not that particular school, 
anyway.  But yeah, speaking of schools... so Liam, who is very much 
Canadian - I'm serious, if I hadn't actually seen him bleed after a hit 
one time I'd think he had maple syrup in his veins - well, his birthday 
was yesterday.  His nineteenth birthday, to be exact.  So he decided that 
he'd accomplish two things: go drinking legally in and show his poor, 
deprived Japanese teammate his native country.  Not his native province, 
mind you, as we're on completely the wrong coast for that, but we could 
at least get to the country.  And that is how, yesterday morning, I found 
myself in this incredibly beat-up old van that Joshua had somehow 
acquired over the break, heading for Saint Stephen, New Brunswick."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru leans on his hand and listens. "You're a good storyteller, huh. Go 
on."

[Ciara]
"So, yeah... you know, none of the other guys on the team from Canada are 
like Liam.  I kinda wonder if he'd be like this about whatever country he 
was from, if he were from another country... but anyhow..."  Satoshi 
reaches up to mess with his hair before jerking his hand back down and 
leaning on his desk.  "It's actually only about two hours from here to 
the border.  And I have to say that the idea of just driving into a whole 
different country just strikes me as kinda weird still.  I guess not to 
you, though, right?  You could've gone up to Canada from where you were."  
He thinks for a second.  "You wouldn't even have been that far from Liam, 
actually.  He's from Victoria."

[Jihatsu]
"Oh, for real? I've actually been there even! My dad's best friend moved 
there, he was kinda like an uncle to me and the family would go up there 
in the summer sometimes. Gorgeous place. Do you know where Liam's from 
exactly?" Not that he expects the answer to be a yes...

[Ciara]
"I don't know what part he's from, but I'm sure he'd be happy to tell me 
if I asked."  Satoshi chuckles.  "That sounds nice, by the way.  Did your 
family do a lot of traveling?"

[Jihatsu]
"Kinda! Whenever we could leave the restaurant, which was usually like, 
two weeks in the summer and a break around Christmas. My dad has a big 
family, and they basically live all over the west coast, so yeah." He 
smiles. "Plus my aunt in Japan, obviously. So I've been here a couple 
times, but mostly when I was little, so I didn't super remember it."

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks away from the camera for a moment.  "That must have been 
nice, having a lot of family to visit."  Then he looks back.  
"Restaurant?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru rolls his eyes. "Yeah. We had a sort of fast-foody sushi place. 
Like every small-town Asian-American family who doesn't run a convenience 
store or a nail salon or something, I know. I guess it's a stereotype for 
a reason."

[Ciara]
Satoshi blinks.  "I... didn't know, actually.  I mean, the only place 
I've really spent time in in America is here, and I don't actually get 
off campus all that often.  There probably is a restaurant nearby like 
that, I guess?  When we go off-campus to eat it's usually the local 
diner.  Occasionally seafood."

[Jihatsu]
"Oh... Sorry, I guess?" Wataru makes a bit of an apologetic face. 
"It's... I mean, it's not everybody, of course, but it is pretty common, 
especially in smaller towns and suburbs. Especially with the more recent 
immigrants. It's pretty easy to start a restaurant or a little shop, you 
don't really need much special training or certification, and unlike, I 
dunno, running a clothing boutique or something, if you're a visible 
minority running an ethnic restaurant you sort of end up with less in-
your-face racism on a daily basis. Cause, like, people expect you to be 
Asian, so you don't get too much shit for it." He rubs his arm awkwardly. 
This got kinda serious somehow.

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks genuinely surprised, and a little sad.  "I never really 
thought of that, to be honest.  So far, people have been pretty nice to 
me... but I'm also here as a student and not someone running a business 
or raising a family.  There was some skepticism at first about a Japanese 
guy playing hockey, but I'm good enough that it didn't last very long.  
Becoming friends with Liam and Grant helped a lot, too."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods..... Then shrugs. "Well, you know. It's not really worse than 
in Japan, most of the time. At least in Japan I'm invisible, so, so long 
as people don't know... That's me, the everywhere foreigner," he 
chuckles, sadly. "-----You uh, so this road trip...?" 

He doesn't mind talking more about racism and xenophobia, buuut.....

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks like he wants to say something more for a moment, then 
shakes his head and resumes his story.  "Right.  Road trip.  So the trip 
up was actually pretty straightforward.  Traffic was reasonable, roads 
were in good condition.  Van was running smoothly.  We get to the border 
crossing and it goes pretty quickly.  Liam made sure I had my passport 
with me, and I had my student ID, and we explained that we were just 
going up for the day, so there weren't really too many questions.  I 
think the border guard might have been kind of amused.  Oh yeah, and we 
took a picture, too.  I can send you that now."  He sends a reply to 
Wataru's earlier picture e-mail.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru finds a smile again, and waits for the email.... "Got it!" He 
opens the file...

[Ciara]
There is a picture of Satoshi standing in front of the "Welcome to 
Canada/Bienvenue au Canada" sign with this *incredibly* hot blond guy.  
Like seriously, dude looks like a friggin' rock star wannabe - long bangs 
in front, shorter hair in the back, gorgeous blue eyes, and an extremely 
cocky grin.  And he has his arm around Satoshi's shoulders.  His *arm*.  
His other hand is flashing a goofy peace sign for the camera, but still.  
That guy.

"So yeah, visual proof that I have been to Canada," Satoshi says.  "Grant 
took the picture for us."

(For reference, Liam looks pretty much like this guy, minus the earring 
and sunglasses: 
http://aceattorney.wikia.com/wiki/File:Young_Klavier_Close_Up_1.gif)
(Also probably wearing a less flashy outfit.  Probably.)

[Jihatsu]
Wataru looks at the guy - that can't be anyone but Liam - and the arm, 
and Satoshi, and the arm, and the guy. The arm... might mean nothing, 
but.... 

"Soo, that's Liam, huh." 

He can't tell if he's jealous, somehow vindicated/relieved that Satoshi 
might be into guys after all even if it's not him, or just wondering if 
he should be worried, because HOT DUDE, RED FLAG.

[Ciara]
Satoshi watches Wataru's eyes flick back and forth.  "Yeah, that's Liam.  
Is something wrong?"

[Jihatsu]
"Nothing! He's, uh," Wataru smiles, crookedly. "He looks... I dunno, not 
how I was picturing him, I guess. Anyway." 

[Ciara]
"Right, so, we get up there and it's still late morning, and Liam decides 
it's a bit too early to get something to drink, so we wander around town 
for a little while.  It's a small town, but pretty.  Right on the river 
and all.  So we kill some time, start a snowball fight, just relax some."  
Satoshi stretches a little.

[Jihatsu]
Stupid Liam and his stupid face, Wataru was doing pretty good not perving 
out over Satoshi, but now he's thinking jealous thoughts, and now 
Satoshi's stretching like that and his cotton shirt is pulling across his 
muscles and Wataru feels like an idiot again. No, he made a promise. He's 
not gonna be that guy.

He makes himself think about snowball fights in the most platonic, 
mundane way possible. "That actually sounds pretty cool," he smiles, and 
it's pretty honest, given the circumstances. "Did you get into trouble 
for it?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi is completely oblivious to the effect he's having on Wataru. 
"Nah, we didn't hit anything or anyone we weren't supposed to, and they 
might be used to guys crossing the border and doing silly things.  So 
anyhow, after that, we're hungry, and we go to a restaurant and we get 
lunch and Liam orders a beer and gets carded, of course, so he pulls out 
his driver's license and shows it to the waitress, and she laughs and 
says it's on the house.  Joshua gets one, too, and she looks at Grant and 
me but we just shake our heads.  We *might* have been able to get away 
with it, but she *was* carding, so."  He pauses.  "I saw Liam's license, 
and it said 'Liam Gavin Campbell.'  I forget sometimes that middle names 
are a thing in other countries."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru hesitates with this, then goes for broke, and says, "Mm.... I have 
one too, actually."

[Ciara]
"Oh yeah?" Satoshi looks curious.  "What is it?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru grins. "Well, it's Wataru. But I like, exclusively go by Wataru, 
here. So this is a big-time secret, okay? Don't tell any of the others, 
but my actual given name is Daniel. Secret!"

[Ciara]
Satoshi blinks several times in surprise.  "Wow, I wouldn't have guessed 
that.  Daniel, huh?"  When he says it, he really doesn't have any trace 
of an accent.  He's pronouncing it like he speaks English pretty 
fluently... which given his current country of residence, probably isn't 
all that much of a surprise.  "So that would make you Daniel Wataru 
Yamada, then."

[Jihatsu]
"Yep," Wataru smirks. "That's what the paperwork says."

[Ciara]
Satoshi laughs upon hearing his words of a short while ago reflected back 
at him.  "Fair enough.  And I'm guessing you prefer I stick with Wataru 
when it's just us, yes?"

[Jihatsu]
"Yeah," he says. "Daniel... Well, I mean, you know. Bad memories, back 
home. So... Sticking with the middle name kind of helps me keep things 
apart, I think." 

[Ciara]
Satoshi closes his eyes for a moment and exhales.  "Yeah," he says.  "I 
wouldn't want to keep bringing bad memories back by calling you a name 
you'd rather not use.  I understand."  He pauses for a moment.  "So where 
were we?"

[Jihatsu]
"Um," Wataru thinks. "......Snowball fight?"

[Ciara]
"No, we were past that already... oh, right, we had lunch.  So after 
that, we were trying to figure out what to do next.  It was only early 
afternoon at that point, but we'd pretty much done everything in town 
that we wanted to do.  Then Liam decided that there was no reason not to 
see more of the country, so he declared that we were going to head north 
to Fredricton, which according to the maps was about an hour and a half 
away.  Bigger city, more stuff to do, kind of a longer drive back to 
school but not too bad.  To be honest, I think that was his idea all 
along and he was just pretending like he was making it up as we went.  
He's actually one of the more together people that I know."  Satoshi 
makes a brief face.  "It's... kind of annoying sometimes.  Like you know 
that if hockey falls through, he wants to be a lawyer like his brother?  
Pre-law is *not* a major for kidding around."

[Jihatsu]
Now Wataru really does feel jealous - jealous of the intimacy and 
affection Satoshi and Liam clearly share. _So? Deal with it. Friends or 
more, it shouldn't matter. No reason not to believe Satoshi when he said 
he'd be friends with you, anyway. And he sees Liam like every day, it's 
natural they're tight. You should be happy he's got friends over there. _

"Wow, yeah. So he's doing pre-law *and* playing hockey?"

[Ciara]
"I know, right?" Satoshi waves his hands in a "seriously!" sort of 
gesture.  "But yeah, so far he's doing fine.  I should ask his roommate 
if he ever sleeps."  He lets out a long breath.  "I'm the only one of the 
three of us who doesn't have a major.  Grant's poli sci.  I... well, I 
can get through first year just fine doing general requirements.  And 
maybe I'll find something this semester that I really like."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru smiles, back on more solid ground. "Any classes really got you 
yet?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks a bit sheepish.  "*Not* chemistry.  That almost ended in 
disaster.  I was actually failing going into the final, but I managed to 
pull a B because I aced it with the help of... a friend, and the lowest 
exam score got dropped so the one I totally botched didn't end up 
counting against me.  It was kinda scary, actually.  I was always pretty 
good at classes before - I wasn't top scoring or anything, but I was 
definitely above average - and here I was nearly failing something my 
first semester here." He sighs.  "But I think this semester will go 
better.  I've got an interesting variety - Psych 101, Econ 101, Trig, and 
English Composition.  I'm actually taking English classes as English 
classes and not foreign language; I took a test and apparently I'm too 
fluent to be able to use it as a foreign language credit.  So now I'm 
going to learn how to improve my writing, and probably some obscure 
grammar rules.  I'm not sure what I'll do for my foreign language 
requirement.  Maybe French.  Technically I could take Japanese, but that 
would be ridiculous and I want to feel like I earned all my credits."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru chuckles. "Yeah, obligatory English basically saved my ass at 
Shunyo. Brought my average wayy up. Plus I had the best ALT. She helped 
the other teachers understand  what my deal was, I think."

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks mildly confused.  "What's an ALT?"

[Jihatsu]
"You know, an Assistant Language Teacher. Didn't you guys have one? Ours 
was called Aimee and she was from Australia. Came once a week."

[Ciara]
Satoshi gets a slightly embarrassed look.  "Oh, right, we did have 
someone like that at Sakuragaoka.  I'd just forgotten the terminology.  
Anyhow, you must've done pretty well for yourself since you ended up at 
Waseda."

[Jihatsu]
"I worked like you have no idea. Cram school every night, man. Spent my 
year at Shunyo terrified they'd send me back to America." He messes with 
his hair. "Getting into a good school meant my family would be more up 
for me sticking around indefinitely, too, you know?"

[Ciara]
"Yeah, I do see, I..."  He reaches up to fiddle with his own hair.  "I 
spent pretty much the entire time between graduation and starting fall 
semester getting ready to come over here."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods..... "Cause of... that stuff? Like um, Arcana?"

[Ciara]
"No, because I was really wanting to make sure I'd be ready once I got 
here.  And even that only did me so much good." He sighs.  "It's kind of 
overwhelming, isn't it?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods. "Everything is different. Even the food. Even the sidewalks. 
You know? It's just everywhere." Wataru sighs a bit... "I don't know if 
Japan will ever really feel like home."

[Ciara]
"So you don't think you'll ever move back to America?" Then he looks 
apologetic.  "Sorry, I don't mean to keep dwelling on this.  You're just 
one of the few people I can talk about this whole being in a foreign 
country thing with who actually can understand."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods, with a dismissive gesture. "Oh, it's fine. Actually, it 
feels kinda good to talk about it openly, you know? If you've never been 
an expat, you can't really know what it's like." He thinks for a moment. 
"I dunno. Right now, the last thing I want is to go back. I miss my 
family, and some of how life was, like, American society. But... I mean, 
I was a minor and I was exonerated, but I was still a murder suspect, you 
know? They kept my name out of the papers, but people knew. People always 
know. If ever I went back to America, if have to move far, far away."

[Ciara]
Satoshi watches Wataru carefully.  It's tricky, but he thinks Wataru is 
starting to pull back into himself, close down, put up the barrier he 
uses to deal with the world.  And he doesn't want that.  "Wataru, I..." 
His voice is soft.  "I don't mean to keep dredging up things.  I 
appreciate that you're willing to talk to me about this, but... part of 
being honest with someone means that you can say, 'I'd really rather not 
talk about this' and they'll listen.  You don't have to do this if you 
don't want to.  I'll understand."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru blinks, surprised. An edge of hurt creeps into his expression.

"....Okay. I... I.... I mean you're right, I don't like talking about it. 
I've talked about it too much, you know? Like with therapists and stuff. 
But..." He gets a bit of a determined set to his features. "You are 
literally the only person I've ever been completely honest with. I want 
to keep that, you know? ...But you're right it doesn't mean we have to 
talk about everything all the time." He sighs. 

[Ciara]
Satoshi sees that hurt expression, and he closes his eyes and hangs his 
head.  "I'm sorry.  I'm not very good at this, apparently.  I thought 
maybe you didn't want to talk about it." He looks up at Wataru.  "Tell me 
what you want to tell me.  I'll listen.  I promise."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru smiles, in a small but once again wholly honest way. "No reason to 
dredge up old pain right out of the gate. You know, to a large extent it 
feels like ancient history. Like a different person. I guess that's why I 
went for the name change, you know? Partly because I don't want to 
remember being that guy, and partly because I sort of feel like I'm not. 
I've changed so much, and I like myself better now, you know?" He 
relaxes. "And, you're not bad at this. We just still barely know each 
other, even if it doesn't really feel like it." The smile grows a little. 
"But we'll get the hang of it, thanks to the miracle of video chat, 
right?" 

[Ciara]
Satoshi smiles a tiny bit.  "I know.  It really does feel like we've 
known each other a lot longer, but we're still just in the getting to 
know you stage."  He leans back in his chair a bit.  "Some people just 
hit it off right away."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru sort of beams, goofily! 

[Ciara]
Satoshi grins back.  "So yeah, uh, should I take us back to New 
Brunswick, or do you want to talk about something else first?"

[Jihatsu]
"New Brunswick is good," he grins. "I wanna hear about these road trip 
shenanigans." Nod nod! 

[Ciara]
"Okay, so, we head back to the van and Joshua asks me if I want to try 
driving for a while.  I sort of panicked and said that I didn't have a 
license or even a learner's and I grew up in a country where we drove on 
the opposite side of the road and I really didn't want to start an 
international incident."  He chuckles.  "I'm pretty sure he wasn't being 
serious, but the thought of learning how to drive, especially on the 
opposite side of the road, kinda freaks me out."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru laughs! "Yeah - man, I hightailed it outta the country before I 
got my license. My family was forcing me to learn, but man, I hated it. 
Lived in the 'burbs, though, I didn't exactly have a choice, you know?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi nods.  "I am beginning to understand the American dependence on 
cars.  It's really hard to get anywhere off-campus if it's not on a bus 
route or if you don't know someone with a ride.  I miss the Japanese 
transit systems *so* much!"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru laughs! "I won't talk too much about the quiet, reliable, punctual 
trains, then."

Punctual! Stupid word makes him blush a little now! Thanks Izumi.

[Ciara]
Satoshi shakes a fist in Wataru's direction.  "Stop tormenting me, you 
horrible fiend!"  He's grinning so hard, though.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru loves having that effect on him. He revels in it somewhat. "So, 
did you do it?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi shakes his head.  "Nah, I didn't.  So we headed out and we pretty 
much spent the trip up chatting about random things.  Made it in, found a 
garage to park the car, started walking through the city.  Took a few 
pictures, but they didn't turn out all that well.  ...oh, hey, that 
reminds me, I had another picture I wanted to send you."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru smiles! "Fire away!"

[Ciara]
Satoshi sends off an e-mail. "This was taken at our last game before the 
break.  I figure you should see us in our native habitat since you're 
hearing about our adventures in the outside world." 

[Jihatsu]
"Oh, sweeeet." Printing that one for sure~~ 

He waits!

[Ciara]
So there's the guys on the ice in their gear, standing right in front of 
the bench.  Satoshi's on the left, Liam's in the middle (because of 
course he is), and there's an African-American guy who's not quite at 
Liam's level of OMGHOT but has really nice deep brown eyes and good 
cheekbones and close-cropped hair on the right.  (Seriously, are all the 
guys on the team required to be nice-looking?)  He's in goalie gear, and 
if Wataru remembers Satoshi talking about his other close friend on the 
team being the backup backup goalie, he can probably figure out that this 
is Grant.  Wataru can even see Satoshi and Grant's sleeve numbers: 92 and 
34 respectively.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru grins! "Ahh, this is fantastic! You guys look awesome. That's your 
line, right? Who took the picture?" 

[Ciara]
Satoshi grins back.  "Me and Liam and Grant.  One of the juniors took it 
for us.  So now you can kind of picture us both being awesome on the ice 
and having crazy adventures off it."

[Jihatsu]
"I kind of wish I was one of you guys now, thanks. But I'll allow it - 
payback for the trains quip." :P

[Ciara]
Satoshi quirks an eyebrow.  "Do you skate?"

[Jihatsu]
"Enough not to make an ass of myself in the winter, but not like, *well*. 
I actually tried out for a hockey team when I was like ten, but it didn't 
work out and I never took it further." He smiles. "I'm much more a 
sports-watcher than a sports-doer, you know?"

[Ciara]
"Well, you did try out."  He smiles.  "And skating's like riding a bike, 
supposedly: it always comes back to you.  Not that I know how to ride a 
bike, mind you.  But maybe you'd want to get back on the ice just for fun 
someday?"

[Jihatsu]
"Sure! My sister and I always went at least a couple times in the winter, 
not that it got cold enough outside really but you know, at the rink."

[Ciara]
"I would *love* to do actual pond hockey at some point.  That'd be 
awesome."  Satoshi gets a far-off look in his eyes.  "Maybe I can propose 
a team field trip or something.  There have to be places around, right?"

[Jihatsu]
"In like, the might-as-well-be-Canada northeast? I bet."

[Ciara]
"I'll ask Liam.  He's probably got a sixth sense for that or something."  
He laughs.  "Do you think I'm ragging on him too much?  He's not even 
here to defend himself."

[Jihatsu]
"Hey, he sounds pretty cool to me," Wataru smiles. "I'm glad you've got 
good people around you. Man, it sucks to be alone in a new country 
without friends. I'm glad you've got who you've got."

[Ciara]
"Thanks." Satoshi smiles back.  "I wish I could actually be there to help 
you get to know the others, but... you know.  At least you're talking to 
them, and it sounds like things went pretty well with Haruko?"

[Jihatsu]
"Aaaahhhh." Wataru laughs! "Made it here already huh? New Brunswick story 
all done?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi reaches his right hand up to mess with his hair again and has a 
kind of sheepish grin.  "Nah, it's not done.  I should probably finish it 
first.  But I am totally asking you about your meeting with her 
afterwards, got it?"

[Jihatsu]
"Man, I wouldn't hear of anything else. It's a deal." Grin!

[Ciara]
"Okay, so we walk around for a while, grab dinner, wander around some 
more, then find a club that'll let us all in although Grant and I have to 
wear these wristbands that show we're under 19, and Joshua asks Grant if 
he'd be comfortable driving back because apparently Liam wants to 
challenge him to a drinking contest.  Grant's okay with it, so Joshua and 
Liam go off to the bar.  And proceed to get very, very drunk."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru quirks a smile. "Man. College is different in the States. Yeah, go 
on."

[Ciara]
"I never did find out who won," Satoshi muses.  "Liam wasn't speaking any 
recognizable language at that point and Joshua was just pointing at 
things.  And neither of them remembered the next day.  But we pretty much 
carried them out of there, took them back to the van, and dumped them in 
the back seat.  I made sure they had seat belts on!"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru beams. "How responsible." <3 "That's wild, man. I don't think I've 
ever drank so much I blacked out... Honestly, as cool as your adventure 
sounds, that part doesn't sound like much fun to me personally." He 
shrugs. Not judging though!

[Ciara]
"It's not something I'd do.  I don't even like alcohol that much."  He 
makes a brief face. "Anyhow, I don't think this is something that is 
going to become a regular thing.  If it *does* look like it's becoming a 
regular thing, I'll talk to them.  But yeah... putting their seat belts 
on for them meant that I had the *perfect* opportunity to take pictures.  
I mean, not that I'd do that and not that I'm e-mailing them to you right 
now.  I mean, what kind of person would that make me?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru's eyes go wide. "Would I go to hell for saying 'the best person'?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi laughs.  "If you are, then I'm going right there with you."  He 
clicks send.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru laughs! He bites his lip, waiting for the mail to show up!

[Ciara]
The e-mail shows up!  There are pictures attached!  And yep, that's Liam, 
sleeping in the back with his mouth hanging wide open (although his hair 
still looks good; seriously, that guy) leaning against another sleeping 
guy who can only be described as "terminally scruffy."  It's both 
adorable and hilarious.

[Jihatsu]
"Awww," Wataru says. "I hope they were okay?" 

[Ciara]
"Yeah, we stopped by their rooms the next day with lots of water and 
Tylenol."  Satoshi scratches the back of his neck.  "Also to help them 
actually make it to practice.  Coach kinda figured out what went on when 
we all showed up exhausted and, in some cases, slightly hung over.  We 
got yelled at, but... uh, I think he's going to permanently put Joshua on 
our line."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru quirks a smile? "What, because he got drunk with you guys?"

[Ciara]
"It's an important bonding ritual! ...I think."  Satoshi pauses.  "I 
wonder if that was Liam's plan all along.  That really seems like way too 
much trouble just to get him permanently assigned to us, though."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru is smiling softly. "Well, that's cool. You haven't told me much 
about Joshua - he's cool?"

[Ciara]
"Yeah, he's cool.  He's a second-year so we don't hang out quite as much.  
I think he hangs out with a couple of defensemen from his year?"  Satoshi 
thinks for a minute.  "Or... maybe he doesn't?  Sometimes he just kind of 
appears." He shrugs. "To be honest, I'm not exactly sure how Liam found 
out about the van, but he was able to successfully bribe him with beer 
and gas money, so.  It worked out.  Except for the part where they were 
still passed out in the back and Grant was getting really sleepy."

[Jihatsu]
"Duuuuude," Wataru says, in a warning but also excited voice.

[Ciara]
Satoshi grins.  "Yeah, I tried talking to him for a while to help him 
stay awake.  We even talked a little about you."

[Jihatsu]
"Me!" :0

[Ciara]
"Yeah. I told him I'd made a new friend who was a Canucks fan, and that I 
wasn't entirely sure what would happen if you met him and Liam because 
I'd be totally outnumbered."  He laughs.  "I'm tough, though.  I can take 
it."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru grins. MADE A NEW FRIEND. <3 "That'd be cool! Uh, meeting him one 
day, I mean. Not like, you know, outnumbering you." He leans his chin in 
his hand, thoughtfully. "If ever I do go back to visit my family, guess I 
might budget some extra for a trip to Maine, huh?" 

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks surprised.  "Oh!  Well, uh, that would be really cool if 
you did, but... it is pretty expensive.  And time-consuming.  I can't ask 
you to do that for me.  I mean, I'd really enjoy introducing you to 
everyone here.  But... I'd feel bad, making you go to all that trouble."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru smiles. "Dude... Okay. So. I mean. I've never been back, you know? 
Not since... Not since I came here." He ruffles his hair. "So if I did go 
back, it'd be ... probably not like, soon. And it'd already be a big 
deal." He sighs. "And it might not happen again for a long while. So, 
might as well make the most of it, yeah?"

[Ciara]
"It makes sense," Satoshi says, and he smiles, but it's a little sad.  
"Anyway, I should finish my story.  "So we get back to the border 
crossing and Grant and I are both pretty worried.  I mean, we're 
transporting two obviously drunk guys across international borders, even 
though we're perfectly sober.  But we get extremely lucky or something 
because we just hand over all the passports - I grabbed Liam and Joshua's 
right before we got there - and the guy listens to where we've been and 
just waves us through.  I think maybe he was figuring that it was way too 
crazy a story for us to just make up.  So we go a few miles and then 
Grant has to pull over because he's getting sleepy again."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru just nods now! It's a story he can really get into.

[Ciara]
"I ask him if he wants to take a nap or something, and he tells me that 
there's no way he's going to wake up enough to drive after he falls 
asleep, and unless I want to sleep in a van overnight or try to find a 
hotel room in Calais, I'm going to have to drive back.  And I am all 'No, 
no way, I didn't want to do it earlier when it was light out and I still 
don't have a license and what if there are cops around' and he just 
points at the gas and says this makes it go, then points at the brakes 
and says this makes it stop, and points at the wheel and says this makes 
it turn.  And that the roads are pretty straightforward and as long as I 
remember to stay on the right, I'll be okay.  And then I'm thinking, 
'Okay, I've faced much scarier things than this, seriously, I should be 
able to do this.'  So I just nod, we swap seats, and I take the wheel."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru STARES. "Satoshi. Oh my god."

[Ciara]
Satoshi nods slowly.  "Yes.  I did it.  I was terrified, but I did it.  
And that is how my very first driving lesson happened in the middle of 
the night, in Maine, with three guys asleep in there and me looking in 
the rear view mirror every two minutes just to make sure there wasn't a 
cop behind me who just *knew* that there was this scared Japanese guy 
behind the wheel who had absolutely no right to be doing that." He sighs.  
"Haruko's not letting me hear the end of it.  She's insisting on teaching 
me how to properly drive once I come back for the summer as a precaution 
for this sort of thing.  But anyhow, I get us back, I wake everyone up 
and Grant and I help Liam and Joshua back to their rooms, then I send 
everyone an e-mail letting them know I made it and I collapse.  And that 
was my first road trip."  He does actually look a bit pleased with 
himself.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru claps. <3 "Thaaat was epic. Man, I got beat just hearing about it! 
I can't say I approve of the driving - next time, napping by the side of 
the road is probably the safer bet, huh - but man." He grins. "That's a 
helluva story. And congrats on your first time behind the wheel - I guess 
it might be easier after that, huh?"

[Ciara]
"Well, I wasn't tired.  I was too scared to be tired.  But yeah, I don't 
see how my next time could be that much harder."  He smiles.  "I think my 
high school self would look at me and wonder what the hell was wrong with 
me."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru *grins*. "I think that's what growing up means, though. I think 
that means we're on the right track."

[Ciara]
Satoshi laughs. "The right track involves copious amounts of alcohol and 
illegal driving?"

[Jihatsu]
"The right track involves outgrowing your past self, I think. I mean, 
highschool me wouldn't recognize me now. And I think that's a good thing, 
you know? I mean, I like myself a damn ton more than I used to."

[Ciara]
Satoshi closes his eyes for a moment.  "Outgrowing your past self, huh."  
He opens his eyes.  "I..." Then he swallows nervously and is quiet for a 
moment before continuing.  "Well, I'm glad you like yourself more now.  
It's a good thing."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru frowns, gently. "...You, ah... You don't really...feel the same 
way?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi seems increasingly nervous about something.  He was absolutely 
fine a moment ago, but now that he's stopped telling stories, he's 
getting more and more anxious.

"No, no, I do."

[Jihatsu]
"Hey," Wataru scoots his chair closer to the camera. "It's okay, Satoshi. 
Whatever it is, it's okay. All right? I'm right here. And we can talk 
about it, or we can not talk about it, and either way I'm not gonna go 
anywhere, all right?" 

[Ciara]
"Wataru, I..." Satoshi drops his gaze for a moment before looking back 
up.  "I absolutely, positively promise that I'll tell you what's going 
on.  But..." He tries to smile.  "You promised you'd tell me about your 
meeting with Haruko after I finished the road trip story.  And I want to 
hear about your meeting with Kaede and Akemi, too."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru bites his lip..... and then has a small, crooked smile. "You got 
yourself a deal."

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks like he's relaxing a bit.  "So yeah, you and Haruko?"

[Jihatsu]
"Me and Haruko... went well! She's kinda cool. It was like... I feel like 
we both went into it knowing what we wanted, and came out satisfied. It 
wasn't really a friendship connection, but I really feel like we could 
work well together, you know? First time I really get that vibe from a 
member of the team."

[Ciara]
Satoshi gives a mock-offended look. "What, I'm not a member of the team?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru grins. "You know what I mean. - Anyway, I think you and me are 
like 1000% more friendly than me and Haruko, so it's different anyway!"

[Ciara]
Satoshi laughs.  "It's not a competition, you know.  But you do have some 
things in common - that anime series you both really like, for one.  
Utena, right?"

[Jihatsu]
"Yes!!! It is sooo good."

[Ciara]
"See, you've got that to talk about.  Or have you already started and 
that's *really* what you spent the entire meeting talking about?" he asks 
teasingly.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru laughs. "Nah, we actually talked about serious business." 
Fittingly, his face gets more serious. "We mostly talked about Reiji, 
actually."

[Ciara]
"Reiji, huh."  Satoshi looks contemplative.  "I remember you guys were 
talking about him a little at the dinner the other week.  It's... really 
been a while since I saw him.  What happened to him, and all I... there 
wasn't much we could do.  He stayed with me for a little while after he 
first returned, but then he disappeared again, and eventually we found 
him again and he got back together with his sister, and..." He sighs.  
"We looked into healing him, but... yeah."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru takes a deep breath. "Well, we're going to try again."

[Ciara]
"What?"  Satoshi blinks.  "How?  Did Haruko find something?"

[Jihatsu]
"...." Wataru looks away, then back, a bit sheepish. "I... I did a 
reading. Something new came up. A way in, maybe." He exhales. 

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks surprised.  "You did?  What did you find?"

[Jihatsu]
"Well, it was really clear, actually." Wataru blushes slightly. "I mean, 
as far as these things go." He pushes his glasses up on his nose. 
"There's some kind of ritual, that Haruko, Kaede, and myself will need to 
do together." He tries to remember the exact phrasing. "Haruko will be 
involved in her capacity as a healer. Kaede has to design the ritual, 
however that is. And me, well, I turned up as the caster." He swallows. 
"I guess it's gonna be on me to make it happen."

[Ciara]
Satoshi holds up his left hand.  "Whoa, whoa, slow down a sec.  You *and* 
Haruko *and* Kaede?  And you're a what?"

[Jihatsu]
"Caster, apparently. Like, I'm the one who has to cast of the ritual. 
Kaede is going to have to design it, and maybe it will make use of 
Haruko's powers, but the magic is gonna come from me." It's obvious that 
this is sort of daunting to him, but at the same time he doesn't look 
hopeless or helpless. "And, yes. The three of us. Why, is that weird?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks like he's trying to wrap his head around this.  "You're a 
*spellcaster*?  You have *magic*?  Is this another Arcana aspect?"

[Jihatsu]
"I dunno, man. That's what the cards said!" He rubs his head through his 
fluffy hair. "Isn't all of this sort of magic? How is this not magic?"

[Ciara]
"Well, there's magic and then there's *magic.*"  Satoshi still looks 
rather overwhelmed.  "Powers you can just use, but spells and rituals and 
such just seem so... I don't know, fantastical?  Have you done this sort 
of thing before?"

[Jihatsu]
"Well... Not really, but it can't be that different from this, right? I 
mean, dude. Dude. You read minds, and I can lift shit by thinking about 
it. This seems no less weird to me than, I dunno, whatever this ritual 
might entail. Honestly, I'm more weirded out by apparently being the 
focal point of it. I mean, I have no idea what I'm gonna have to do."

He thinks for a moment about the things he does, when he trances out and 
searches for people or whatever. It doesn't strike him as qualitatively 
different from lifting a coin with his mind....

[Ciara]
"Wataru... okay, listen to me,"  Satoshi is suddenly very serious.  "If 
you're a spellcaster, then you're probably a *really* powerful one.  
Because... because you're a Major Arcana.  Majors can really throw their 
weight around.  So you are going to have to be *extremely* careful with 
this."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru frowns... "O... okay? I've never... I mean, I've done stuff I'd 
consider really powerful maybe twice in my life, though." He frazzles his 
hair. "Man, I'm still so short on answers. So majors are stronger than 
minors? You're a major too, right?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi nods.  "Yeah.  And when I talk about throwing weight around... 
it's actually literal in my case.  I've... well, I've got super-strength.  
And even I'm not the physically strongest Arcana.  But... yeah, I know.  
It's an unfair competitive advantage, which is why I have to be really 
careful to keep it under control most of the time."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru looks surprised. "Wow! That's cool - man, yeah, I bet you have to 
watch yourself on the ice! So you can do two things? Is that also a 
Majors thing?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi closes his eyes. He looks in pain. "...it's more than two," he 
says quietly.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru frowns a bit........

He again wishes he could reach out and touch him, comfort him. He does 
sort of put his hand on the side of the screen, though.

"Satoshi..." 

[Ciara]
Satoshi takes a few deep breaths.  Then he opens his eyes.  "I'm okay.  
I..." He tries to crack a smile. "Well, I don't envy you having to work 
with Haruko *and* Kaede.  They're two of my closest friends and even I 
don't try to make them work together."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru totally allows this change of topic. Man, there is something there 
under the surface though - like a sea monster, and he's seen a coil here 
and a fin there, and is just starting to guess at the size of the beast.

"Hah. I didn't know they don't get along. So this is gonna be craziness?"

[Ciara]
"Let's just say you're going to have... fun... convincing him."  Satoshi 
looks almost amused now, pulling himself back from the brink of whatever 
it was he was standing on.  "He's probably going to tell you that it's a 
pointless waste of his valuable time.  Has he said that to you yet?"

[Jihatsu]
"It sounds like him," Wataru admits with a smile. "Whether or not he's 
said those exact words."

[Ciara]
"I am proud to be one of the few people who's rarely ever a pointless 
waste of his valuable time," Satoshi says, and there's genuine warmth in 
his voice.  "But you guys have met up already, right?  You and him and 
Akemi?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru smirks. "That's cool. And yeah - man, she's something else, huh?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi smiles.  "Yeah.  She's sweet and fun, but a little scary 
sometimes."

[Jihatsu]
"She didn't really scare me," Wataru muses. "But she was definitely 
overwhelming."

[Ciara]
"Overwhelming. Yeah. That's a pretty good description."  Satoshi thinks 
for a moment.  "So, uh, obviously it didn't go quite as well as you and 
Haruko, but... how *did* it go?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru thinks for a bit. "I learned a lot. Kaede seemed to make this 
like, conscious decision, like, that trusting me for now would be a wise 
investment. Is kind of how it felt, you know?" He sighs. "Honestly, we 
butted heads a bit, though. He kinda annoyed me with something he said."

[Ciara]
Satoshi makes an amused sound.  "Yeah, that's Kaede.  What did he say to 
you?"

[Jihatsu]
"Well. I was talking about how I felt really bad about Reiji, and how I 
was committed to helping in any way I can. And his response was like, 
"unlikely". Or something like that. Oh, "doubtful". That was it." Wataru 
scowls a bit. Then his expression turns playfully challenging, as he 
says, "I'm sure he's going to be *thrilled* when Haruko tells him what's 
up. Bite me, "doubtful"."

[Ciara]
Satoshi laughs. "Oh man, I am *almost* sorry that I'm not going to be 
around to see that.  But yeah.  He's going to be skeptical about this 
ritual thing, to say the least.  I mean, I kinda doubt designing a 
magical ritual is going to be like writing code... but maybe it is.  Who 
knows?"

[Jihatsu]
"Oh, is he a coder? Huh, that's starting to make sense. His role I mean. 
It might be similar, right! I mean, like, what's involved in a magical 
ritual? Like, runes and things? It's kind of about, like, manipulating 
reality to be what you want it to be, right? That's kind of the same 
thing as writing computer code."

[Ciara]
Satoshi just stares.  "Manipulating reality is kind of like writing code.  
Okay."  Then he thinks.  "On the other hand, if anyone's going to be able 
to pull that sort of thing off, it'd probably be Kaede."  He leans 
forward.  "But Wataru, listen to me.  Please be very, *very* careful.  
Research things thoroughly.  If you can test it out somehow, do that.  If 
anything happened to you guys, I..."  And he's quiet again.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru swallows. When he speaks again, his mood is more moderate, 
serious. "Okay. We will. Promise, ok? We'll all go into this with our 
eyes open, and if anything's uncertain I won't go through with it, okay?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi half-smiles.  "Thank you, Wataru."  Then he takes a deep breath.  
"Okay.  It's time, I think.  Time I told you more about the Arcana... and 
about me."  He sits up straight in his chair.  "There's a part of me 
that's just so scared to tell you this, because I have absolutely no idea 
how you'll even *see* me after I'm done.  I hope you'll still want to be 
my friend.  But... I just can't bear the thought of you finding out some 
other way than from me.  So."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru sits up straighter... "We've all got something," he says. "I trust 
you."

[Ciara]
"Okay, so... this first part, I'm not telling you it just to try and make 
you feel sorry for me.  It's just... it all fits together, in the end.  
It may not seem like it at first, but it will."  Satoshi takes a few more 
deep breaths.  "So... I didn't exactly have a normal childhood.  When 
you're in training from an early age to become an Olympic-caliber 
athlete, you just don't.  Nominally I was enrolled in the local schools 
but I started having private tutors when I was pretty young.  And 
lessons.  Tons of lessons on top of practice and schoolwork.  Dance and 
choreography.  Speech lessons, so I could give interviews in English 
without having much of an accent."  He gets a wry look.  "My roommate 
here, Paul, he's a huge anime and manga fan and he's so disappointed that 
he's living with a Japanese guy who knows practically nothing about his 
own country's pop culture.  But... I just never had time for it when I 
was younger, so I never developed an interest for it when I did have time 
later on."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods... "I didn't realize you had that kind of background. Like. 
This is the figure skating, right? You grew up with Olympic training?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks a little embarrassed.  "I was *good*, Wataru.  I've always 
been good on the ice, in one form or another.  I also had a mother who 
was determined that I was going to be not just good, but *great*, and a 
father who was never home and just sent us back money from his job 
overseas in LA."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru smiles... "I wish I'd have seen you. But I've got a memento," he 
smiles broader, clearly fond and warm. "I bet you were amazing."

As an afterthought, he realizes Satoshi's childhood probably kinda 
sucked.... He holds onto that thought, though. 

[Ciara]
Satoshi blinks.  Then he smiles.  "Thanks.  I might have been.  But..." 
His smile slowly fades.  "So, my first Junior World Championships.  
They'd just had the Winter Olympics in Nagano.  There was a *lot* of 
excitement.  But I was ready, right?  I'd been training for years for 
this.  So I went out there, got through the preliminaries, got through 
the short program.  I wasn't actually going to medal, or anything, 
because I'd just turned thirteen and I was up against a bunch of guys who 
were older than me and had more experience.  But it was going well.  Then 
came the last round."  He takes a deep breath.  "I botched it.  I 
completely botched it.  I have no idea what happened.  I've made those 
jumps a *hundred* times since then.  I can *still* make those jumps.  
That day, though... I went from respectable to dead last in the remaining 
competitors.  I just... I can still remember coming off the ice in dead 
silence.  I sat there and I watched the scores go up and I was numb.  
Like it was happening to someone else.  How could I have messed up so 
badly?  I couldn't even look my coach in the eye... and I certainly 
couldn't face my mother."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru looks again like he wants to reach out.... He nods, gently. 

[Ciara]
"She waited until we got back to the hotel room.  Then she lit into me.  
How could I have let her down?  How could I have let my coach down?  How 
could I have let my *country* down?  It was disgraceful and unacceptable 
and as soon as we got back she'd be increasing my practice times so that 
such a thing would never, never happen again.  And that just... I told 
her that look, it was my first international competition and I'd been 
doing just fine up until the last part and I could make up for this and I 
wasn't a *machine*, dammit, I was just a kid and I was still growing and 
learning and what did she want me to *be*, exactly?  And she looked at 
me, stared me straight in the eyes, and she said, 'You'll be whatever I 
want you to be.'  And I said, '...no.  I'm not going to do this.  I'm 
done.  I quit.'  And she said nothing.  She didn't say anything to me for 
the rest of that night.  She didn't say anything to me on the plane ride 
home.  She didn't say anything to me until we got back home, and she put 
her purse down on the table, and she said, 'Are you done with your 
childish tantrum?'  And I said, 'No, I'm done with figure skating.'  And 
... her answer... what she said, was, 'Then I'm done with you.'  And she 
went to her and my dad's bedroom and she closed the door.  I was 
confused, but... I went to sleep, like usual.  And the next morning... 
she was gone."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru has a slow intake of breath. 

"Oh.... Satoshi, god damn," he says. He reaches to the camera. "God, I 
wish you were here. You're just gonna have to feel it from there, all 
right?" He looks at him searchingly. "You got me."

[Ciara]
Satoshi's eyes widen, and he takes a deep breath, then reaches out as 
well.  "I wish I were there, too," he says in a quiet, trembling voice. 
"But at least I can see you." 

[Jihatsu]
Wataru smiles, soft and true.... "Yeah. It's almost like the real deal." 

[Ciara]
Satoshi smiles back.  It's a pale reflection of his usual sunshine, but 
it's still a smile.  "This is so much better than trying to tell you this 
over the phone."  He moves his hand back down.  "Okay.  I think I'm ready 
to go on now."

He takes another breath.  "So... that morning I figure she's maybe just 
gone somewhere, so I wait. And I wait.  And she doesn't come back.  And 
finally, that evening, I walk into my parents' bedroom and there's all 
this... stuff... laid out on the bed.  Like information on the school I 
was technically enrolled in, financial account stuff, my dad's official 
document seals... all this paperwork and things, everything I'd need to 
just... keep going.  There's even a uniform.  I guess I was required to 
have one even if I wasn't actually attending classes.  I spent the night 
reading it all, and the next morning I got up, made myself breakfast, and 
went to school for the first time in years."

[Jihatsu]
"Oh, Jesus. Satoshi, that's...." He shakes his head, but he can tell the 
story isn't over - and he's not about to interrupt. He's just gonna keep 
hugging Satoshi in his mind. 

[Ciara]
"It was weird, showing up in December, to be a second-year student in a 
junior high school that I'd never actually attended.  In fact, I actually 
*should* have been a first-year student, but all my tutoring and lessons 
got me a year ahead of where I was supposed to be.  Or my mother pushed 
to get me ahead, I really don't know."  He looks at Wataru.  "Maybe 
that's why you were surprised by my age?  Anyhow, I did fine 
academically.  But I was the weird new kid.  And, well, you know how that 
is."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru has a small chuckle. "Yeah. Except I was the opposite. I basically 
redid my last year of high school - I was almost finished, but then I 
moved to Japan and with the way things worked out schedule-wise I ended 
up back at he beginning." He smiles. "Which is why I'm super old," he 
adds, teasingly. 

[Ciara]
Satoshi gets an odd look.  "You're not *that* old," he replies.  "But, 
okay, so it took me all of a week of going to school and coming home to 
an empty apartment to really wanting to find something to do besides 
that.  And I really missed being on the ice.  So I went back to the rink 
just to be there.  And there were these guys playing hockey.  So I 
thought, 'Hey, maybe I can do that.  I already know how to skate well.'  
Two days later I was all signed up."

[Jihatsu]
"Wow," he says. "...So..." He makes a bit of a face, unsure as to whether 
to even ask. "Did... I mean, your mother..."

[Ciara]
Satoshi shakes his head.  "That's later in the story."  He scratches the 
back of his neck.  "So it turned out that I was actually pretty decent 
for someone who hadn't really played before.  Having a really good 
instinct about where I needed to be on the ice helped a lot.  However... 
the guys on the team weren't exactly happy about having some new kid show 
up and start out-skating them.  And I thought that maybe some of them 
recognized me from before.  Kids at school were whispering, too, or so it 
seemed to me.  I started getting angry.  And defensive.  Everyone knew 
I'd screwed up.  Everyone was laughing at me behind my back.  They all 
knew.  And it all came to a head one day when one of the guys on the team 
called me a 'pretty boy figure skater.'  He may have just been saying it 
to get a rise out of me.  But to me, it was a declaration of war.  So I 
dropped my gloves and I just went at him."  He looks contemplative for a 
moment.  "I think my strength might have been starting to come in a 
little at that point, because even with a surprise first punch, I 
shouldn't have been able to do so well against him.  He broke my nose and 
knocked out my tooth.  I sent him to the hospital."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru really wishes his initial reaction to that hadn't just been _whoa, 
hot_. He probably just looks sort of surprised and captivated, though. 

"Your super-strength," he nods, understanding. "Shit, man. I feel ya." 
_At least yours survived._

[Ciara]
"So, here's the thing," Satoshi continues, his expression darkening.  
"When I was beating that kid up?  I *liked* it.  It felt *good*.  All 
that pent-up frustration, it just came out."  He looks away from the 
camera for a moment.  "They gave me first aid and sent me home with a 
polite request to never come back."

He takes another deep breath.  "That night, I was sitting in the 
apartment, when I suddenly felt compelled to go look at myself in the 
mirror.  Now, I was probably extra-bruised and stuff from the fight, but 
I just looked at my reflection and I was horrified.  What had I *done* to 
myself?  How could I let myself lose control like that?  I'd behaved ugly 
and now I *was* ugly.  And I deserved it.  It was my punishment.  And 
it's not like anyone really wanted me around, anyway.  My mom left.  My 
dad was still overseas.  Who would want me?  Nobody should."

Satoshi laughs, shakily.  "I swear I didn't mean to spend so much time on 
this part.  We haven't even gotten to the weird stuff yet.  But... man, 
it feels good to actually let it all out.  Don't worry, though, I'm 
almost done with my tale of woe."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru takes a deep breath. 

"Satoshi. You might not like hearing this, but I understand you way more 
than I should." He swallows, hard. "When I... God," he runs his hands 
through his hair, shaky. "You've said it, I might as well say it too. The 
feeling of release, of power, of... of finally being *real* and *present* 
and calling the shots in the world, of not taking anyone's shit, of 
showing them all what you can really do..." His gaze is fixed, but can't 
meet the camera's unblinking eye. "It was the darkest moment of my life, 
and the freest at the same time." He swallows. "And I hate myself for it, 
and I've never admitted it out loud before. So." He finally looks up. "So 
it's okay. Right? We both moved on. We both didn't turn into horrible, 
like, supervillains. It's... It's probably natural, you know? To love 
that feeling. But we both were scarred by it. Scared. We're not 
psychopaths. We pushed through. ...Eventually." He takes a deep breath. 
"---A-and..." Wataru has a tiny, awkward smile. "Hey. Whether or not you 
were ugly back then I can't say, but you sure as hell know you're not 
that now." His fractional smile quirks just a hint more crooked, and he 
looks a bit uncomfortable, but fully honest. 

[Ciara]
As Wataru speaks, Satoshi's eyes widen and he takes a sharp breath.  "Oh 
man, Wataru," he says, after Wataru is done. "You have no idea how much I 
wish you didn't get me so well.  Like... I really wish you hadn't had to 
go through that.  I wish I could have been there somehow.  I mean, that 
would have been impossible; we didn't even know *of* each other back 
then, let alone actually know each other, but..."  He slowly inhales and 
lets it out.  "But it happened.  And you're coming through it, and I 
believe that you're stronger for it."  He takes another breath.  "It's 
not as straightforward as heroes and supervillains, I think.  Arcana's 
not like that.  Life's not like that, really.  But look... if you ever 
feel like the world's giving you too much shit, if you need someone who's 
*been* there to talk to... promise me you'll call me, okay?  I don't care 
if it's the middle of the night here, if you need me, let me know.  I 
can't physically be there for you right now but I can still listen.  
And... and maybe I can figure out something to remind you.  Something 
tangible."

Then he looks away.  "I'm still scared of myself, Wataru.  And part of 
the reason why... well, we haven't reached the last part of the story 
yet." He looks back and half-smiles. "I think at this point I've 
convinced myself that you're probably not going to run away screaming, at 
least.  But yeah.  We're almost at the part where Arcana comes into 
play."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods, breathing. Talking with Satoshi... The way they connect, the 
so *many ways* they connect... It makes him feel stronger. Like there's 
more he can face, now. 

"Thank you, man. I hope I don't need to take you up on that offer, but 
I'll take it seriously. Same for you, okay? Any time. If there's any way 
I can be there for you, I will." Wataru frowns, thoughtfully. "I mean... 
I... Talking about it.... I feel... Does it make sense that I feel 
stronger than I felt a minute ago? I mean look at us. Neither of us have 
run away screaming, and there's a whole lotta shit on the table. Maybe my 
shrinks are right and pushing stuff away just gives it more power over 
you, you know?" He exhales, body relaxing some. "Talking about it is 
hard, and I still feel ashamed, but I also feel like it's got a lot less 
of a hold on me now." He sits up straighter, feeling all the tension in 
his back. "So all right. Arcana stuff."

[Ciara]
"It *does* make sense.  Like, I really had no idea that I was still 
carrying so much of that around with me and that I really *did* need to 
let it out."  Satoshi gives a soft sigh.  "Okay, so I'll just fast 
forward through the next part.  I found another rink and I started doing 
drills every day before school, because I still wanted to be on the ice 
so badly. I started following NHL games - it was a tossup between Anaheim 
and LA because there was a player I really liked in Anaheim but LA was 
where my dad was, so I ended up picking the Kings.  Meanwhile at school, 
when I showed up looking like *that* people pretty much just left me 
alone.  I spent my third year of junior high in relative peace - I got on 
a team at the new rink, I started to make friends - and I ended up taking 
the exams for Sakuragaoka and Shunyo because they both had teams.  I 
scored higher on Sakuragaoka's, so I chose to go there.  First year of 
high school, things were pretty good.  Second year started out much the 
same.  I got named captain of the hockey team, which was pretty exciting.  
Things seemed like they were going well.  Until one day in January, when 
I got attacked after school, met a bunch of other people, and found out 
about this thing called Arcana... and that apparently I was one of them.  
The Ace of Wands."  He looks straight at Wataru, because he's pretty sure 
what Wataru's going to ask.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru does, indeed, look quizzical. "How is *that* possible?" 

[Ciara]
Satoshi shakes his head.  "I'm still not sure, to be honest.  Seriously, 
we were never able to figure it out.  But when I first got involved with 
the Arcana, the card I always drew was the Ace of Wands."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru is very thoughtful, but nods. "Okay."

[Ciara]
"So we..." Satoshi pauses.  "Actually, I'll come back to that.  Has 
anyone explained the reincarnation cycle to you yet?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru stares like this might be some kind of joke he's not getting. 

[Ciara]
Satoshi catches Wataru's expression.  "Okay, I'm going to take that as a 
no.  So... we aren't the first Arcana.  There were ones before us, and 
ones before those, and so on up to some point in the past.  When that 
was, we don't know.  But basically, when an Arcana dies, their card 
<avatar> doesn't die with them.  Someone else is born with it later.  The 
powers aren't always exactly the same, either.  They're variants on a 
theme that's related to the card."

He takes a breath.  "So the problem with the most recent cycle is that 
almost all of the Arcana were killed in World War II.  Which means that 
most of them came back at around the same time.  Now I don't know how 
long it normally takes an Arcana to reincarnate - it could be that having 
almost all of them go at the same time slowed the cycle down immensely or 
if it just normally takes this long - but basically the vast majority of 
the Arcana ended up being junior high to college age when everything went 
down.  And since almost all of the Arcana were dead, there wasn't any 
sort of leadership or power structure or mentoring or anything like 
that."

"Arcana powers generally start manifesting in adolescence.  The youngest 
person I know of was about 12 when they started manifesting.  You said 
you were 15."  He pauses.  "So, take a bunch of teenagers.  Give them 
superpowers with varying degrees of knowledge on how to use them and 
pretty much no supervision.  What do you think is going to happen?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru is clearly struggling with all this. "Y-yeah... Yeah. Okay, 
gimme... Slow down a second. I mean." He runs his hands through his hair 
again, thinking furiously. "So. Yes. Actually. You said world war 2.... I 
mean, I've had these dreams sometimes, right? Where I'm not me. And... 
It's weird, but I've always known they're true. Or true-ish. They... They 
help me understand what I need to do sometimes, you know?" He glances at 
Satoshi for comprehension. "Give me clarity, even if they're muddled."

[Ciara]
Satoshi nods.  "Those are probably the memories of the previous Hanged 
Man.  I think everyone gets some amount of memories from their previous 
incarnation.  Some people end up knowing more than others.  I don't know 
if anyone's managed to access memories from even farther back.  And if 
yours actually help you out, well, more power to you."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods slowly.... "Man, so that's legit, then?" He lets out an 
exhale, leaning back. "I uh, huh. I was a lady," he says, looking aside 
awkwardly. "She, uh, she seemed pretty cool, though. She was a nurse," he 
says, regaining some confidence. "During the war. I've had some pretty 
horrific dreams about trying to help dying kids and shit like that. But 
she inspires me, too. She was really selfless." He looks at Satoshi, a 
hint of humour regaining his features. "When, uh, when Mr. Connery found 
out what card I was, he gave me the weeeirdest smile, and I swear to god, 
the first thing that came through my mind was that he and my nurse had 
kinda like, had a thing or something." He winces, but it's with 
amusement. "Doesn't that super weird you out? Total guesswork though, 
I'll admit," he shrugs. "Just what popped into my head."

[Ciara]
"Yeah, genders can swap between incarnations.  Haruko's predecessor was 
male, for example.  But they don't always swap.  Again, I don't know if 
there's any sort of pattern."  Satoshi pauses.  "I'm glad yours was 
nice."  Then he grins.  "And hey, maybe they did.  If we ever see Jin 
again, you should ask if you remind him of his grandmother."  Then he 
stops and clears his throat, his expression growing more sober.  "I'm 
sorry. That was probably terrible of me.  I just... I have... for now, 
we'll call them *issues* with my past self.  We'll get to those.  But not 
just yet."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru doesn't manage not to blush!!! Jeez, Jin was super cute, too. Does 
that make his impure thoughts like, potential weird reincarnation incest? 
D: noooo

"Um. Yeah, issues. Okay."

[Ciara]
Satoshi takes a deep breath.  "So, yeah... the other thing is that 
because of everything that happened on the day the world nearly ended... 
it broke the cycle.  We're the last Arcana.  There aren't going to be any 
reincarnations after we're gone."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru frowns, as an uncontrollable sadness sinks into him. 

The last.......

He's quiet for a long, long moment. 

"But I don't want to be the last," he finally says, too quiet. "I'm 
nothing special. It shouldn't be me."

[Ciara]
"Wataru..." Satoshi's voice is gentle, and he reaches a hand out towards 
the camera.  "You're not nothing special.  You saved Jin.  You've got 
this ritual to work on to heal Reiji.  There might be other things you 
can do, too.  But... I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that the 
cycle is broken.  There was so much pain, so much suffering.  This way, 
no one else has to feel it.  No one else has to have our pain in their 
memories."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru looks at him, at that effort for a touch that's already so 
familiar a feeling. He has a half smile....

"Satoshi, what are we for? Why were we here in the first place?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi lets his hand fall back down.  He takes another deep breath and 
says, quietly, "I don't know, Wataru.  I mean, I think part of it was to 
take care of what happened that night, but our overall purpose?  Why we 
were created in the first place?  I don't know.  I mean, if we even *had* 
a purpose in the first place it may very well have gotten lost in the 
cycles, years of fragmented memories and factions and fighting.  Or maybe 
a group of people got together one day and decided, 'Hey, what would 
happen if we tried this?'  I just... I don't know."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru has a slow nod....

Then he chuckles, sadly. "I guess there's something kind of liberating 
about not really having a purpose. I've been worrying about it a lot, 
over the last couple years. You don't become what I am by accident. 
Except, maybe, you do." He smiles...

[Ciara]
Satoshi half-smiles back. "Means you don't have to be forced into someone 
else's expectations of who you should be."

[Jihatsu]
"God," he sighs. "I can't even get a grip on my *own* expectations for 
myself. Spent my adolescence wishing I wasn't gay, didn't have special 
powers, wasn't a huge nerd and a loser, wasn't this scary monster who --- 
anyway," he exhales, decisively. "Like I said. Liking myself better. 
Sorry. Carry on."

[Ciara]
"And I was convinced I was a hideous failure who nobody really wanted 
around.  So."  He smiles a little.  "Besides, you don't have to have 
everything figured out yet.  And between the two of us, you're the one 
who's got an actual university major picked out."  His smile widens.  
"Don't think I'm not a little envious of that."  Then he sighs.  "So, 
yeah.  Back then, things were complicated, to put it mildly.  There were 
all these groups, all this fighting.  Rumors and secrets and lies.  And 
one of the things going around... one of the things was about Judgement.  
People were disappearing and one of the theories was that Judgement was 
behind it.  But nobody knew who or what Judgement really was.  There were 
some people who were convinced that it was tied to our group, though.  So 
that... didn't really help our situation."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru frowns, following.

[Ciara]
Satoshi takes another deep breath.  "At one point we got attacked by a 
bunch of guys on motorcycles.  We fought them off.  I was deliberately 
holding back, but... one of them ended up dead.  Technically, that wasn't 
his cause of death, but... fighting him off probably didn't help, and 
so... I was so sure I'd done it.  And in the end, maybe it didn't matter 
that I hadn't because the wrong people *thought* I'd done it.  But 
that's... that's a different story."  He looks at Wataru.  "Just... if 
someone comes to you and says, 'Hey, Satoshi Watanabe, didn't he kill a 
guy?' you won't be like, 'Wait, he didn't tell me about that.'"  He looks 
away.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru takes a deep breath. 

"Okay." He looks into the distance for a moment, before coming back to 
earth. "Look, you know that I.... I mean, I get it, right? Even if you 
did. I'm not gonna be like 'it's cool, no big deal', because we both know 
that's not..." He swallows, then looks right at Satoshi. "But okay. This 
doesn't change how I think of you, cause I get it. Whatever happened."

Except....

[Ciara]
"So... I..." Satoshi is struggling to get the words out.  "Then Reiji 
comes back.  And he stays at my place for a while, since my parents 
aren't around and it doesn't raise any suspicions.  Everyone comes over 
to talk to him.  He alternates between being kind of lucid and just 
rambling.  And then he... I'm still not sure how it happened, but he 
sends us all to The World Reversed.  Which you can ask me more about in a 
little while because if I don't say this part now I may completely lose 
my nerve.  We get split up.  Kaede and I end up together and we figure we 
should head for the Tower, as that's the most likely place that 
everyone's going to be going.  So we go, and while we're going I start 
seeing all these shadows.  Shadows of people.  Kaede doesn't see them.  
We make it to the Tower and Winston's there, waiting for us.  And I ask 
about the shadows and he says that the reason I can see them is because I 
put them there.  I'm Judgement, and those are everyone who's ever been 
Judged."  Wataru can almost hear the capital letter in Satoshi's voice.  
"And I... and I..." He starts breathing more heavily.  "And the Arcana 
who survived World War II... I'm one of them. Hideo Watanabe."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru doesn't understand. It's clear, it shines through the kindness and 
sympathy in his features. He doesn't understand so much, that he doesn't 
even know what to ask. 

[Ciara]
"I tell him that I don't understand.  How could I have been alive back 
then?  I don't remember that.  I remember being little.  I have a birth 
certificate, it says I was born in 1985. My mom may have left, but I have 
a dad in LA... right?  And he says..." Satoshi is visibly trembling now.  
"...he says no.  My memories are false.  My dad doesn't exist.  He never 
existed.  Temperance messed with my mind back in 1945, and again in the 
present.  The World has the power to reduce someone's age, and she did 
that then, and again once more.  And she's my mother.  Or the person I 
think of as being my mother.  Whether or not she was Hideo's birth 
mother, I don't know.  I'd... I'd like to think she wouldn't do what she 
did to her own son, but... I was kept alive, brought forward in time for 
some purpose.  I'm... I'm not the person I thought I was at all."  And 
finally he gives up, can't hold it back anymore, and just puts his head 
down on his desk and starts sobbing.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru half rises out of his chair.

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks up, the tears streaming down his face.  "Everyone else is 
there, they're hearing this for the first time with me, and... Katie 
tries to tell me that it's okay, that Judgement isn't necessarily bad, 
that in the tarot it can be good, it's change in a good way, not 
destructive like the Tower is... I'm not *better* after that, 
necessarily, but it helps.  I start trying to come to terms with it... 
and it gets better, but then one day I get a vision of Hideo, well, it's 
more like I *am* Hideo, I'm just riding along in his head and I see his 
reflection and he really *does* look like I'll look in twenty years, 
except without the nose and the tooth because he never got in a fight 
like I did when he was younger, and there are screams, and people are 
being attacked and Hideo just *strolls* over there and he watches people 
*die*.  They're killed right in front of him.  He does NOTHING.  Until 
afterwards when she's finished and then he just says... she's guilty.  
And he starts to trap her in this circle and then..."  He lets out a 
fresh round of sobs.  "I swore right then and there that that wasn't me, 
I'd never do anything like that, I'd never become him.  But... but in a 
way I still *am* him.  And I'm so scared that someday he'll find a way to 
come back."

A few moments pass.  Satoshi stares at Wataru with pleading eyes.  
"Please, Wataru, please say something.  Tell me I'm too strange.  Tell me 
you can't take this, that you never want to talk to me again.  I'll 
understand.  Or... if you still want to be my friend, tell me that.  
Just... talk to me, Wataru.  Please.  Be honest with me."

[Jihatsu]
"My God, Satoshi. My God, oh my God do not for one instant - for one 
*heartbeat* - think that I would not want to be friends with you." He 
stands, leaning his hands on the desk, closer to the camera. "Look at my 
face, Satoshi, I swear, I swear, that I'm here with you all the way. 
Listen to me. You, and me, we're here, right now. All the past has made 
us who we are, and it's never gonna go away but it's past." He takes a 
breath. "One person's feelings might not have much value, but Satoshi, 
I'm laying it all out for you. I've never in my entire life connected 
this hard this fast with anyone, ever. I've never felt like this about 
anyone ever, period. And I don't even give a shit why I feel like this, I 
just know that it's true and overwhelming and wonderful. Satoshi." He 
looks at him. "Whatever else you've done, you've made my life better and 
brighter. You really matter to me. And it's you who said it: the cycle is 
broken. All we've gotta be now, is us. Our lives belong to us. And I feel 
it in my bones that you've got what it takes to do it right."

[Ciara]
"Wataru..." Satoshi says, slowly, his voice a mixture of amazement and 
joy. "I... no one's ever said anything like that to me before.  I mean, 
just... *thank* you, Wataru."  A smile slowly spreads across his face.  
"Of course your feelings are valuable.  They're *yours*.  I'm so happy 
that I could make your life brighter.  I'm so happy I met you and I'm so 
happy that I'm getting to know you and I'm just so, so happy that you're 
here now.  I really had no idea how badly I needed to let this all out.  
I thought I'd dealt with it, but... no.  Deep down, I knew I hadn't.  I'd 
just kept shoving it in further and further.  I was giving it power over 
me."  He sighs softly.  "It's going to take time, Wataru.  I'm not even 
close to being all the way there yet.  But I think... I can keep figuring 
out how to move towards the future without fleeing in fear from the 
past."  He breathes out, slowly, the last of the tension leaving his 
body, his eyes closing. "Sometimes you really need a fresh perspective on 
your life.  Someone new to show you something you've been missing."  He 
opens his eyes.  "Although, man, I really hope that at some point we'll 
have a conversation that doesn't leave one of us in tears."  He grins.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru has an aching, heartfelt chuckle, and reaches towards the camera. 
"We will." 

[Ciara]
Satoshi nods.  "Yeah.  We will.  So... pictures from tomorrow?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru has a crooked smile. "I may need to spam you with a blow-by-blow 
account of events."

[Ciara]
Satoshi laughs.  "It may be a little while before I can get back to you 
on that, though."  His expression grows serious.  "And the ritual?  
You'll be really careful on that?  I want to hear details.  I'm going to 
be talking with Haruko and Kaede about it, too, but I want to hear all of 
your perspectives on it."

[Jihatsu]
He nods. "Would it, um, actually would it be okay with you if I brought 
you in to consult on this? I'm really new to Arcana, and you... I mean, 
you're not," he says, sheepishly, and there's layers of meaning there. He 
sighs. "Especially if the other two have a hard time getting along, and 
don't necessarily trust me either. Can I bounce ideas off you as we work 
on this?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi blinks.  "Uh, sure?  I mean, I'm not really sure what I'd be able 
to contribute, but I can certainly try.  We'll have to be careful how we 
talk about it, of course, but ... sure."

[Jihatsu]
"What do you mean, careful?" He frowns. 

[Ciara]
"Oh, just like, using email encryption and such.  Things like that."

[Jihatsu]
"Oh shit - you think people are listening in?" He shifts in his seat. 
"Was this okay? Video chat? I didn't think... How do I even encrypt 
stuff?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi shakes his head.  "Nah, I think we're fine here.  If we were 
storing these as video logs somehow, it'd be good to encrypt them.  But I 
can ask about encrypting streams anyway.  I can show you how to do e-
mails, too."

[Jihatsu]
"Sweet," Wataru says. "I mean, I don't know much about this like, clan 
warfare or whatever you and Kaede have mentioned, but I guess I'm in with 
you guys now. Wouldn't want to get anyone in trouble."

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks a bit sheepish.  "Well, I wouldn't exactly call it that, 
but... indulge us in our paranoia for now?"

[Jihatsu]
He nods. "If there's anyone I should be watching out for, or anything I 
absolutely shouldn't do, can you or the others let me know, please?" He 
figures Satoshi probably keeps in touch with the rest of them, given. 

[Ciara]
"Well, uh, honestly the most interesting thing lately has been you 
showing up.  Otherwise, it's been pretty quiet... wait, no..." Satoshi 
thinks for a second.  "Do you remember some of the others talking about 
books when we were all at dinner together?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru thinks about this. "Not especially," I only had eyes for you, "but 
I do remember something about when Kyon and Katie and I went to the Tower 
Reversed." He frowns. "Do you know someone called Masaru?"

[Ciara]
"Uehara, yeah."  Satoshi looks mildly uncomfortable at the mention of his 
name.  "What exactly went down that night, anyway?  I'm curious."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru thinks. "So... I go to meet up with Katie, and Kyon is along for 
the ride go figure," he rolls his eyes. "And we take a *down* elevator at 
Tokyo Tower, and the door opens and I very nearly lose my lunch. -- But I 
think I told you that part already, didn't I?" He smiles, awkwardly. 
"Anyway, before I could get anywhere with them, someone else shows up. 
Man... I'm telling you, it was freaky. Those two got so tense.... I 
thought there was going to be a fight. I could tell, you know? I could 
tell they were getting ready to lay it out on whoever came through those 
elevator doors. So I mean, I did what I could, too. I didn't know what I 
was getting into, but if suddenly I had to help those two stay alive I 
wasn't gonna just sit around. But." He exhales. "Thankfully, it was just 
this Masaru guy, although that really didn't improve the whole tension 
situation."

[Ciara]
"I was never very fond of the Tower Reversed," Satoshi says, frowning. "I 
used to be really bad with heights and while I've gotten better, it still 
makes me feel dizzy just thinking about that place.  Seriously, never 
look outside.  But yeah, the Tower Reversed is a place that only Arcana 
can reach... but *all* Arcana could reach it.  Meaning you could be 
there, minding your own business, and then suddenly pretty much anyone 
could take the elevator in.  To be honest, I'm surprised we *didn't* have 
more fights in there.  But anyhow, what happened after Masaru showed up?"

[Jihatsu]
"So, he totters over to the window and sets up some painting stuff, and 
Katie lays *into* him. Like, there is some drama there, holyyyy balls. 
You probably know more about it than I do. But. Eventually it comes out 
that Masaru's brother, whose name I forget... Aki? Aka? Something like 
that - anyway, he's writing some books, that seem to be about what 
happened... like, with all of... well, of us, I guess," he realizes, 
choosing to include himself in there. "Even if he probably didn't know 
about me. But anyway. Yeah. Katie was very, very angry."

[Ciara]
"Did you catch what she was so mad about?" Satoshi asks, a bit confused.  
"And what were you and Kyon doing?"

[Jihatsu]
"Uhhhhhhhhh ignoring each other?" he looks a bit sheepish. "--And...I 
think she was mostly mad about the books, but it seems Masaru like, 
didn't know about them, or didn't have any - oh, no, he and his brother 
had had this big falling-out, I think." He ruffles his hair. "The other 
thing she was mad about seemed pretty private. What do you know about her 
and Masaru's past?"

[Ciara]
"Huh.  Interesting.  About his brother, I mean."  Then Satoshi shrugs.  
"I don't know that much about Katie and Masaru's past interactions, 
really.  They'd have had opportunities to see each other without me 
around, probably."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods... "Is it... bad if I suggest you talk to her about that 
directly, then? I mean, I want to share like everything with you, but I 
also feel like this is a confidence I have no real right to betray. I 
mean, I don't think she even quite registered that I was there. She was 
beside herself." He sighs. Looks at him tentatively. "You okay with 
that?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi blinks in surprise.  "You're really that concerned about her, 
even though you've just met her?  I kinda got the impression that you 
hadn't hit it off all that well.  And, yeah, I can talk to her.  But 
there are some things that are really not my place to tell."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru thinks for a moment... "I mean... Yeah, we didn't really hit it 
off. But I still respect her privacy. I dunno. Just seems like the decent 
thing to do." He seems apologetic, though!!

[Ciara]
Satoshi notices Wataru's expression.  "It's nice of you to be concerned," 
he says quietly.  "So did anything else happen while you were there?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru hesitates. 

"Okay," he says, a bit troubled. "Because I don't want this to be a thing 
between us that makes you trust me less. But... please?" He looks up to 
the camera. "At least for just a little bit, until I get more comfortable 
with them all, can this just be between us?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks very confused.  "Wataru, what are you talking about?  You 
don't want me to say that you asked me to check on her?"

[Jihatsu]
"---No. Wait." He rubs his face, chuckling. "Backtrack one step. Go ahead 
and tell Katie whatever you want, about, you know, what we already talked 
about. But what I'm about to talk *about*, please keep between us for a 
little bit, okay?" He smiles, weakly. "So here it is. Sometimes, when I 
focus really hard and do things a certain way, if I have an object that 
belongs to someone, I can like, find them. Even see through their eyes 
sometimes. I -- I didn't... I'm scared that people, that you guys, will 
get all wary around me because I can do this, and not trust me and stuff, 
so I'm scared to admit it, but I mean... It's kinda like you and the 
telepathy, right? I wouldn't just *do* it. Hell, I had Haruko's card for 
like a week, and I didn't even try."

[Ciara]
Satoshi blinks.  Then he blinks again.  "You...what?  How... how does 
that work?"

[Jihatsu]
He swallows. "So, let me give you a concrete example. A time I did use 
it." He takes a deep breath. "So. It's my third year of high school, and 
Reiji Ozora has been missing for a while." He rubs a hand over his face, 
willing some courage into himself to face this again. "Everyone's 
worried. Now, me, I happen to know there's more to this, because, 
like.... I saw him and Sho, in the construction site. And I know Reiji 
has.. something weird going on. Something he tried to drag me into, but I 
slipped out of his grasp." Wataru's brows pinch together. "Long story. 
For another time. Anyway." He sighs. "I ... happened to have... a rubber 
band of his. One he had used to cold his tarot deck. I'd grabbed it off 
his desk the last time I saw him, when he left class suddenly."

[Ciara]
Satoshi scratches at the back of his neck. "Okay, so, you just picked up 
a rubber band from his desk, got it.  Then what did you do?"

[Jihatsu]
"Then I worried, because he was gone for a really long time. So.... I 
decided to do something about." He takes a deep breath. "I sat quietly at 
home and focused on the rubber band, and what I knew of where it had 
been, and what I knew of Reiji...... and then... I guess the best way to 
put it would be, I had a vision," he says. "Except I always like, fall 
asleep after. So maybe it's more like a dream. Anyway," he says. "For a 
while - it felt like a whole evening, but you know, like in dream time? - 
I found myself looking through Reiji's eyes. As he wandered, alone, 
through... it looked like Osaka. Always flipping a card from his deck, 
and always the Ace of Pentacles. He followed wherever the card fell, 
until he was so exhausted, I mean I could almost feel it. And then, 
suddenly, the Nine of Swords." He breathes.

[Ciara]
Satoshi leans his chin on his hand and has a considering look on his face 
as Wataru tells his story.  "Wataru, I have to say, that sounds... 
*almost* like a spellcasting ritual.  A fairly minor one, but.  So, you 
really do have a talent for this."  He shakes his head.  "Nine of 
Swords... that doesn't sound familiar, and I'm not sure if that's because 
we never met them or I'm just not remembering."

[Jihatsu]
"Maybe it was the lack of Ace of Pentacles that meant something, or maybe 
the Nine of Swords is something we should keep an eye out for." He heaves 
a sigh. "Is spellcasting even a thing? Be honest. It just sounds like, 
like, Harry Potter or something. Although," he squints, and then barks 
out a laugh. "Sorry-- check it -- back to serious shit in a moment but 
this LEGIT never occurred to me before - okay, you're watching?" He grabs 
a pencil, shows it to Satoshi on camera, and then a little eraser, held 
in his other hand. "Wingardium Leviosa!"

He swooshes his pencil, and the eraser wobbles up!!

[Ciara]
Satoshi blinks.  Then he starts laughing.  "You're a wizard, Wataru," he 
says.  Even his pop culture-deficient self gets the reference!

[Jihatsu]
Wataru laughs too, blushing, all the pain and tension of the past 
conversation loosening in bursts as he tries to explain, through the 
shared hilarity, that the pencil obviously has nothing to do with it, and 
he was just levitating the eraser in his hand, and really, it's probably 
the only Harry Potter spell he could have pulled off. 

That said, _you're a wizard, Wataru_ continues to be funny for a really 
long time.

[Ciara]
Eventually, Satoshi stops laughing and lets out a slow breath.  His 
expression gets more sober.  "Okay, Wataru.  Promise me you won't use 
your vision powers on any of the others unless it's an emergency, and 
I'll promise not to tell them yet.  But... I really do think you should 
tell them sooner rather than later.  The longer you wait, the more 
suspicious it looks and the more they'll start wondering if you've 
already done it.  If you frame it like my telepathy, that it's something 
you have to make a conscious effort to do and you won't do it without 
permission, that might help."  Then he pauses.  "Why you're telling me 
this... is this related to something that happened in the Tower?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru nods throughout, admitting that Satoshi makes a good point. And 
then: "Yeah. So... Because it wasn't clear who this Masaru guy was, or if 
he was an ally or a potential enemy, I, uh... I took something of his, 
just in case. You know, so we could find him or something if needed. I 
...don't think he noticed."

[Ciara]
Satoshi looks right at Wataru.  "He may not have noticed, but are you 
sure no one else did?"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru cocks a brow. "Katie, I think. ....She told you already," he 
guesses.

[Ciara]
Satoshi bites his lip.  "Yeah, she did."  He sighs.  "I wasn't going to 
ask, Wataru.  I was curious, but I trusted you to decide whether or not 
to tell me.  I wanted to hear your side of the story.  But since she saw 
you do it... you should tell her.  Really, you should.  Otherwise she's 
just going to keep wondering, and then getting scared."  He looks 
straight at Wataru. "There were a lot of people keeping secrets from us 
back then.  Secrets that hurt us."  He pauses, then sighs again.  
"Please, Wataru.  I promise won't tell.  But I really, really think that 
you should."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru has a deep breath.... then sighs.

"I'll think about it, Satoshi. I... Give me a few days, to work out how I 
feel. But... I mean. You make some really good points. I'll explain it to 
her. Soon. Okay?"

[Ciara]
Satoshi nods, though he still looks concerned. "Okay.  Just... please 
don't take too long?"

[Jihatsu]
"A few days." Wataru nods. "I... dude, I need to digest all of this. You 
know? It's been an intense morning." He smiles, a bit haggard but not 
without humour.

[Ciara]
"Yeah, it has..." Satoshi looks at his computer clock.  "Uh.  Holy crap, 
when did it get to be 1:30 in the morning?!"

[Jihatsu]
Wataru chuckles. "Yeah, I was just gonna say."

[Ciara]
Satoshi mock-scowls.  "Oh, that's way less bad for you.  It's only 3:30 
in the afternoon there... I think?" He lets out a breath. "Anyhow, uh, 
we're not going to be able to make a habit of super-long video chats, I'm 
afraid, what with classes starting and practices and games and all.  Plus 
it'll be a little trickier with my roommate around, and it'd probably be 
good not have to kick him out for hours at a time.  But we can do shorter 
ones!  And we'll have e-mail, too, and you have my phone numbers and 
everything."  He pauses.  "Uh, if you call the dorm room and someone 
answers in Japanese, don't automatically assume that's me.  I'm actually 
more likely to answer in English."

[Jihatsu]
Wataru laughs! "Serious? Who's gonna --- ohhh your otaku roommate," he 
chuckles, blushing slightly. "Gotcha. But - yeah. I think today's chat 
was... Needed to happen, yeah? But yeah, let's keep it shorter. Oh, think 
you could email me your game schedule? So I know when not to bug you. Or 
when to send good vibes your way, yeah?" He grins. 

[Ciara]
Satoshi laughs.  "Yeah, that would be him.  And I'm really glad we talked 
about... well, everything.  Even the hard stuff.  Maybe especially the 
hard stuff.  And sure, I'll send you my schedule.  I'd appreciate the 
good vibes.  But don't be afraid to call me if you really need me, okay?"

[Jihatsu]
"Sure thing. Same here - I've pretty much always got my phone on me, and 
it does email, too, right? So yeah. You can always reach me."

[Ciara]
Satoshi smiles warmly, and then abruptly yawns.  "Okay, guess that's my 
sign to turn in.  Night, Wataru.  Good luck tomorrow."

[Jihatsu]
"Night, Satoshi," Wataru beams. "Have a good one! I'll send you pics 
tomorrow."

[Ciara]
"Thanks!"  And then there's a beep, and the connection closes.

[Jihatsu]
Wataru siiiggggghhhhhhssssss. 

The beaming grin is permanently embedded in his features, it feels like. 
He flops on his back on his bed, grinning up at the ceiling, feeling warm 
from top to bottom, inside out. His heartbeat feels like it's bruising 
his ribs, and he puts his hands on his chest, as if to keep the joy from 
just pouring out. 

He just wants to feel; feel all the pain and fear and hope and love that 
he's been opened up to, like a camera lens improperly shuttered that 
catches all the light until everything is just white. And for a long 
time, that's exactly what he does. 

[Ciara]
Satoshi shuts down his laptop, walks over to his bed, flops face-down 
upon it, and promptly falls asleep.  The next morning, when Paul returns 
to the dorms from winter break, he finds him in exactly that same 
position.

[End!]